Introduction - Nintendo Spotlight: E3 2017/Transcript

Text in parentheses is an English translation of the original French dialogue. Text in italics denotes the English subtitles for the video.

[Bowser Jr. is playing on his Switch.]

Bowser: Junior, le goûter est servi. (Junior, dinner is served.)

bowser : junior the snacky snaks is serve come to eat

Bowser Jr.: ME CASSE PAS LES COUILLES! PFEEEH! J'SUIS UN GEEK! (DON'T BREAK MY ASS! PFFFFT! I'M A GEEK!)

junior : dont break my ball i geek

Bowser: Junior, je peux voir ce que tu fais? Tu joues à quoi? (Junior, can I see what you're doing? What are you playing?)

bowser : junior wha are you doing | bowser : what you geek

Bowser Jr.: S'IL TE PLAÎT, MÊLE-TOI DE TON CUL LÀ! (PLEASE, MIND YOUR OWN ASS NOW!)

junior : is not yo gucking bissness fagget

Bowser: Allez, s'te plaît. (Come on, please.)

bowser : come on pleas

[Bowser Jr. is playing a let's play of some FPS.]

Bowser Jr.: J'FAIS C'QUE JE VEUX DE TOUTE FAÇON, J'AI 10 ANS! (I DO WHAT I WANT ANYWAY, I'M 10 YEARS OLD!

junior : i do watevr i want bitch im 10 year old

[Bowser, enraged about Bowser Jr. being disobedient, unleashes an MGM roar.]

bowser : ROAAAAAAR

Bowser: MON FISTON EST UN PÉDÉ! (MY BOY IS A F****T!)

bowser : MY DADDYS BOY IS A FAGET

[Suddenly, Satoru Iwata appears on the screen.]

Iwata: Hé, pas si près, espèce de stupide capitaliste, caméraman. Hé bouboule, bouboule, je te dis, pose ta putard de manette. Bonjour, c'est moi, Satoru Iwata, le boss suprème de, Nintendo, chinois, et bienvenue, au Nintendo Direct. Je sais, que vous en avez marre, des jeux de gros, pédés, et fait pour les bébés. Eh bien, aujourd'hui, je vous présenterai, la nouvelle console de chez Nintendo, faite pour le hardcore gamer, et pour les adultes. "Please take a look." (Hey, not so close, you stupid capitalist, cameraman. Hey "bouboule", "bouboule", I say, put down your fucking controller. Hello, it's me, Satoru Iwata, supreme boss of Chinese, Nintendo, and welcome, to Nintendo Direct. I know, you've had it with, big f****t, games, made for babies. Well, today, I will present to you, the new console from Nintendo, made for the hardcore gamer, and adults. Please take a look.)

hiro hito : not so near cameraman cunt | hey honeyboo i talk to ya | drop the fucking controller fatass | hello its me satrou shipuden | supreme boss of nintendo china | welcome to nintendo direct | i know you ar fucked boring by baby and faget vidoex gamesnt | today im gonna present the new console of nitendo | sil vous plait prenez un regard

''[The screen fades to white, then to a logo for a console called "Nintendo Chicha." It looks like the Nintendo Switch logo, only the symbol representing a pair of Joy-Con is replaced with the silhouette of a hookah. It fades to black.]''

''[Cut to a video of a chicha shop, showing the process of making chicha and people consuming chicha. The Nintendo Chicha logo can be seen at the top right. The music from "First Look at Nintendo Switch" plays. The video eventually fades to the Nintendo Chicha logo again.]''

Iwata: Voici la nouvelle console New, console "Three-D", U, Wii (???). La console est parfaite pour les capitalistes américains tels que vous. Elle est directement liée au McDonald, des produits, capitalistes, tels que vous connaissez. Alors, nous allons, vous introduire, à quelques jeux. "Please take a look." (Here is the new New console, 3D, U, Wii (???). The console is perfect for American capitalists like you. It is directly related to McDonald's, capitalist, products, that you know. So, we will, introduce you, to a few games. Please take a look.)

that new consoel nitendo nouvelle console toi 3D | the console is perfect for capitalist american pig like you | like macdonald macmikey mcpathibulaire mcdingo | sil vous plait prenez un regard

[An AMUNO logo appears, but the AMUNO symbol is 3D. The "trailer" proceeds to show footage of the French film Brice de Nice.]

Iwata: Avec cette nouvelle console, nous avons une nouvelle license phare: Brice de Nice. Découvrez Brice de Nice, un surfeur glissois, qui casse les gens. Brice de Nice est un jeu d'aventure 3D et de surf. Dans ce jeu, vous incarnez Brice de Nice avec ses amis Marius de Frégius, ainsi que Igor d'Osgor. Dans ce jeu, vous devez casser, le plus de personnes possible. (With this new console, we have a new flagship IP: Brice de Nice. Discover Brice de Nice, a gliding surfer, who breaks people. Brice de Nice is a 3D adventure and surfing game. In this game, you incarnate Brice de Nice with his friends Marius de Frégius, as well as Igor d'Osgor. In this game, you must break, the most people possible.)

with new console with got new games !! | brice de nice | discover brice de nice | brice IS surfer | you play as brice a surfer with his frien marius de fregius et igor dsocrog | for win you have to break the people

[Cut to the box art of the game, which features the title character.]

Iwata: Je sais pas quand il sort, mais je pense que, vous aimerez bien. (I don't know when it comes out, but I think that, you will like it.)

i dont know when is release but you buy it

[Fade in back to Iwata. A frame above him shows two women posing in bikinis in front of a Lamborghini.]

Iwata: Voilà. C'était la Nintendo Chicha. Mais, au fait, qu'est-ce que vous faites chez moi? Euh, caméraman? Tu m'as suivi jusque chez moi, hein? Coquin. Ne faites pas attention aux peintures derrière moi. C'est ma femme et mes filles. Si ce n'était pas des membres de ma famille, je les aurais déjà bien, tartinés tous les jours, sur un peu de, musique de Mario. Hahaha. (There you go. That was the Nintendo Chicha. By the way, what are you doing in my house? Uh, cameraman? You followed me home, huh? Silly. Don't pay attention to the paintings behind me. Those are my wife and my daughters. If those weren't members of my family, I would have already well, spreaded them everyday, on a bit of, Mario music. Hahaha.)

it was nitendo chicha | but | ooooo cameraman you folow me in my home baby girl | dont mind at the portrait is my wife and my girl | if my girl wsnt my girl and my wife was younger i would like to have sex relaxion with her | i would like to tartined all day | on mario music