North Pole, 03:00...
Nozomi and Meta Knight were close to the shore.
META KNIGHT: There it is: Santa's Workshop.
It looks like we're too late...
Santa's Workshop was being assaulted by Stringbots and Spherics! There were elves defending the frontline, but they were clearly losing the battle.
META KNIGHT: I suggest we go for a stealth approach. Sneak in, rescue Santa, and get out of there.
Nozomi gave Meta Knight a look of disapproval.
META KNIGHT: Yes, yes, I know. But we cannot save everyone here.
I was not expecting an army this big... what does the Voice want with him?
Meta Knight and Nozomi reached the outskirts of the workshop and descended into the snow.
META KNIGHT: Alright. We'll have to dismount the Smolitzer; give it enough time to recharge its fuel. Let's sneak in through the backdoor on foot...
There were Stringbots surrounding the complex, scanning the perimeters.
Nozomi and Meta Knight kept to the shadows, hiding behind any crate they could.
META KNIGHT: Stay low and keep out of their laser sights. If they pick us up, we're through.
Thankfully, Nozomi and Meta Knight were smol enough to sneak through. As they huddled against a wall, they overheard two guards talking...
GUARD 1: Shit, I need a break from this.
GUARD 2: It's alright, my man. The moment the elves are done and all the Christmas Spirit has been mined, we can get the hell outta here.
GUARD 1: Don't forget about friccin' Santa.
GUARD 2: All this time I thought he was fake...
GUARD 1: Well, he's real as real can be, and you're in charge of escorting him to the VTOL.
GUARD 2: W-what?! I thought Nathaniel was!
GUARD 1: Joe changed the roles around. Now you have to take him.
GUARD 2: B-but... I forgot the code to the lock!
GUARD 1: It's 93016.
META KNIGHT: He's being held captive! We need to bust him out!
Nozomi nodded. Once the guards left they were clear to move.
They made their way carefully throughout the facility, trying to steer clear of Stringbots. Soon enough, they came to a rather festive looking door with a gingerbread lock on it.
Meta Knight and Nozomi were too short to reach the lock.
META KNIGHT: Curse you, high reach! You have foiled me again.
Nozomi hopped on top of Meta Knight and inputted the code, releasing the lock.
META KNIGHT: ...
Nozomi and Meta Knight slowly opened the door to find Santa Claus, the big man himself, tied to a pipe with a bag over his head. Next to him was a rather large looking cannon.
META KNIGHT: Santa! Are you alright?!
SANTA: Oh, thank goodness! Are you here to save me?
Meta Knight and Nozomi stared to undo the ropes and free Santa from the bag.
META KNIGHT: Yes... but there's no time to waste. The sooner we get out of here, the better.
SANTA: No. There's one thing we have to do before we leave...
...We need to blow this place to smithereens.
META KNIGHT: WHAT?!
SANTA: Yes... it's my life's work. My home. There's too little time to explain at the moment, but it needs to go.
META KNIGHT: ...
...If you insist. But we need to make sure we, as well as our robot, can get out of here before then.
SANTA: We can escape using my sleigh.
Santa got up and opened a secret panel on the wall. On it was a big red button.
Santa hesitated for a moment.
SANTA: I knew this day would come...
Santa Claus punched the button, and sirens started to blare!
INTERCOM: EMERGENCY CHRISTMAS CLEAN-UP ACTIVATED. T-MINUS 5 MINUTES.
SANTA: The sleigh takeoff hangar should be a few hundred meters from here.
I certainly do hope that the Voice's troops have not been mistreating the reindeer...
Santa Claus picked up the giant cannon.
SANTA: Santa Claus is getting the hell out of this town.
Santa, Meta Knight and Nozomi quickly scrambled outside, and were noticed by Patrol-Bots!
META KNIGHT: Damnit!
Santa Claus aimed his cannon and fired! A huge, flaming ball of coal demolished the Patrol-Bots.
Nozomi and Meta Knight could not help but marvel at the sheer firepower.
SANTA: This way! We can't let them capture us!
A jingling was heard in the sky. The gang looked up to see Santa Claus' sleigh flying away!
???: So long, suckers!
SANTA: Drat! That was our only way out!!
INTERCOM: T-MINUS 4 MINUTES TO CHRISTMAS CLEANUP.
META KNIGHT: No, there's still a way! We need to get to the Smolitzer!
Suddenly, Nozomi pointed her hand to the sky and let out a cry.
BOOM! The Smolitzer smashed into the ground in front of them.
META KNIGHT: How did you—
Nozomi and Meta Knight hopped into the Smolitzer, with Santa Claus grabbing onto the back. Suddenly, a firing squad moved in, and Stringbots followed suit!
META KNIGHT: Not on my watch!
With a swish of his sword, he sent a tornado flying towards the Stringbots. They smashed into the walls of the base.
Nozomi punched her way through the walls, as Meta Knight and Santa fended off the troops in a flurry of coal and sword slashes.
SANTA: Keep advancing! We need to get out of here!
TROOPS: Do not let them escape! Shoot to kill!
INTERCOM: T-MINUS THREE MINUTES TO CHRISTMAS CLEANUP.
Soon enough, the Smolitzer reached the outside of the base... ...and found a large pile of dead elves.
SANTA: It was too soon for you guys.
Suddenly, a large spider robot with piledriver-like legs descended in front of them! It was glowing green... A large force field suddenly materialized around it and the Smolitzer!
???: By the order of the Voice, you must be terminated!
SANTA: ...Nathaniel Welchert?! I thought you were dead!!
You've been a very naughty boy! Working for the Voice... how could you?!
NATHANIEL: My mom disowned me... now I have nothing left! Nothing but the Voice, the power, and the cool robot I'm piloting!
INTERCOM: T-MINUS TWO MINUTES TO CHRISTMAS CLEANUP.
Nathaniel slammed one of the robot legs onto the Smolitzer! Nozomi struggled to lift it up...
NATHANIEL: The power of Christmas Spirit is amazing, isn't it, Santa?
SANTA: I thought you were a pure, good-hearted boy... ...you should know such power is not to be abused!
But Nathaniel just kept slamming his robot legs into the Smolitzer.
META KNIGHT: Santa... aim for the joints!
Santa took aim with his coal cannon and fired! After a couple of well-placed shots, one of the robot's legs was disabled.
INTERCOM: T-MINUS SIXTY SECONDS TO CHRISTMAS CLEANUP.
NATHANIEL: Damn it Santa, I'll crush you!
The Smolitzer was hit a few times, but Santa was able to shoot another leg out of Nathaniel's spider robot.
Nozomi mustered up all of her strength, ran up right to the cockpit of Nathaniel's robot, and punched it!
In a burst of electricity, Nathaniel's robot slumped to the ground. The force field was deactivated... Nathaniel was done.
INTERCOM: T-MINUS THIRTY SECONDS TO CHRISTMAS CLEANUP.
META KNIGHT: Let's get the hell out of here!
Nozomi nodded. Meta Knight and Santa Claus held on as tightly as they could while the Smolitzer ran as far away from the Workshop as possible.
INTERCOM: T-MINUS FIFTEEN SECONDS TO CHRISTMAS CLEANUP.
She charged up the Smolitzer thrusters...
INTERCOM: 10. 9. 8. 7. 6.
META KNIGHT: NOZOMI! TAKE OFF NOW!!
INTERCOM: 5. 4. 3.
The Smolitzer bent its knees, and...
BWOOOSH! In a flash of green energy, the Smolitzer was airborne!!
INTERCOM: 2. 1...
Behind them, Nathaniel was lying in his spider mecha, struggling to breathe.
NATHANIEL: Heh... ...I wonder... if there are spidergirls in Hell...
A huge explosion engulfed Santa's Workshop, decimating the complex and everyone in it. The force propelled the Smolitzer skyward!
As the Smolitzer stabilized itself, Santa recollected his thoughts. Meta Knight did not hesitate to pop the question.
META KNIGHT: So... why did you blow your own base up?
SANTA: Sit down, my boy, it's a long story...
Every holiday season, the world gets together to celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, et cetera.
But... do you know what that merry old feeling you get during the holidays is?
It's called... Christmas Spirit.
The best way to generate Christmas Spirit is to do what you usually do during Christmas: snowball fights, Christmas caroling, decorations, spending time with your family, giving presents!
Christmas Spirit is what causes people to feel jolly and merry... ...and in some cases, it can make people do extraordinary things!
How else do you think I can get presents to over a billion children all over the earth? My sleigh runs on liquid Christmas Spirit.
I am an embodiment of Christmas Spirit... I know what every kid wants.
But, you see, Christmas Spirit can also be used for evil...
META KNIGHT: ...Wait... is THAT why the Voice attacked you?
SANTA: Yes, my son.
The Voice is out to mine all the Christmas Spirit in the North Pole... He wants to use it to power his forces.
In the wrong hands, Christmas Spirit can be used to augment humans, Figments, or robots, and turn them into far more dangerous weapons!
You are no doubt familiar with SiIvaGunner, right? The entire reason the Voice resurrected him was so he could manufacture his own Christmas Spirit through the power of high quality Christmas rips!
"Snow halation" in particular... a very powerful Christmas song.
META KNIGHT: Of course...
SANTA: The Voice wanted to know why it was easy for a old man like myself to generate Christmas Spirit while it was so hard for him.
But that is something the Voice will never understand.
Beings who are pure-of-heart and happy can produce Christmas Spirit at a much higher rate. I mean, that's just how Christmas works.
The Voice is black-hearted, and he does not realize this. So instead of turning over a new leaf, he wants to mine Spirit from the North Pole and interrogate me!
That's why I blew up the North Pole: so the Voice could never get his hands on my Christmas Spirit or its secrets.
There is one more thing you need to know about Christmas Spirit: While I can theoretically generate infinite Christmas Spirit, I can only do so if the people around me are jolly and pure-hearted.
Santa pulled out three vials of glowing green liquid.
SANTA: That's why I always keep a backup supply for when things go awry...
Santa noticed the photo next to the vials and let out a heavy sigh.
SANTA: You know... there was one child I used to know.
He seemed like the jolliest gentleman around, with his 80's music and his car-interior monologues...
...But then one day... he went on a rampage...
I know I'm not supposed to interfere with human affairs...but... ...I could have been there for him...
Santa shed a single tear=.
SANTA: ...I could have stopped that bloodshed he caused. I could have saved him.
I can't let something like that happen again!
Nozomi started to cry at Santa's sad story, but Meta Knight just looked skeptical.
META KNIGHT: ...Are you serious?