"DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel (Unused Version) - Jet Set Radio Evolution" is a high quality rip of the unused version of "DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel" from Jet Set Radio Evolution.
Jokes[]
The rip contains bloopers during the recording of the intros for "JET SET RADIO - 24/7 FUNKY FRESH BEATS FROM TOKYO-TO" and other videos.
| Timestamp | Take | Note |
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| 0:00 |  “Listen up, fools! We're running this monster jam for the next 24 hours, so buckle up, 'cuz it's about to get— (clears throat) Oh no, I-I missed-I missed my step in that one. Welp, fuck me. Hype train ruined, stream cancelled, everyone go home. Here's some-here's some golf. Can we get Joel back on the mic?"Joel: "Wha-what happened? What happened? You were doing so good, buddy!"
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Alternate take for the intro to "Bringing it All Back - Jet Set Radio Evolution". |
| 0:44 | "This station bumps only the most hardcore music on the block, and there's a mother lode of heat already for—[tongue tied] Ah—shit, I forgot how to pronunciate shit. What am I even doing in this career? What the fuck? 'I'm DJ King Professor K.' I don't know-wow. That was— Who-who-who's arrangin' these goddamn name tags on my shirt? [exasperated laughter] I don't know where this is from. I literally just got in the studio, and there was just some—some chick just handing me these name tags, and just like, 'Do you know who I am?' and she's just like, [falsetto]'Yeah, I do, but you gotta wear the name tag, [falsetto slipping] you know, for like, property's sake', and just like, 'Intellectual property!?' Just like, 'Have you seen the size of my dread set—dreads, lady?' Like, honestly? [spits] I got more intellect up in there than a Mac-Donald's has in sauce."
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| 1:26 | "Like, you know, it's like, [mocking nasal noise], Pff yeah." | |
| 1:29 |  "(gasp) Wait a minute! Look! This stop sign has one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight glorious sides, and one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight stunning angles! This stop sign is an octagon! [cooly] Octagooon."
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| 1:50 | "All I know from Super Monkey Ball is that the announcer in like, the Gamecube one pronounces it like, [falsetto]'SUPA MON-KEE BALL!' Yeah, no, that's like the most obscure memory I have about Super Monkey Ball. I— (laughs) I rented it at Ga—at Blockbuster, I played it for like two hours, and just like, 'This game's stupid! But the music's nice.'" | |
| 2:08 | Dr. Cortex: "SiIvaGunner Presents: a grindtastic blast from the past, developed by SEGA Corporation! It's Jet Set Radio!" | |
| 2:18 | "[mid-laughter] Aurora Borealis!? At this time of day? In the mitochondria powerhouse of the cell? Back at it again with the white Vans? [continues laughing]
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Continued from the intro to "David Goes To Victory Lane - Daytona USA", as Professor K is still reeling from his laughing fit over HOBaRT.[1] |
| 2:35 | "[scatting] I'm a Scatman!" | |
| 2:38 | "(clears throat) [garbled]" | |
| 2:43 | Lord Farquaad: "Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me, Because this is Jet Set Radiooooo!" | Alternate take for the intro to "DE LOVEHAZARD (Loveless RMX) - Jet Set Radio Evolution". |
| 2:49 | "Yo, has anyone seen my dog? he's gone missin'! He couldn't handle the—[tongue tied] Couldn't take the heat. Alright, fuck. Shit. Shieeet."
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Alternate take for the intro to "The Answer (The Latch Brothers Remix) - Jet Set Radio Future". |
| 2:58 | "Heh. [imitating Nick Crompton] You know it's Nick Crompton, and my collars stay poppin'. Yes, I can rap, and no, I'm not forgotten. England is my city— [cracks up, calms down and continues] And if it weren't for Team 10, then the US would be shitty. I'll pass it to Chance since I know he is litty!"
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| 3:13 | "[To the beat of "Ronald McDonald Insanity"] Kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore ga—[catching his breath] This is-(shallow breath) Jet Set Radio."
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Alternate take for the intro to "Intro - Seaman 2: Pekin Genjin Ikusei Kit". |
| 3:23 | "You have 23 hours to release the Pro Skater collection before I come over there and do it myself. Now get out of my fuckin' sight before I skate on you, too."
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References the Sonic Adventure 2 Team Dark Real Time Fandub, similar to the intro for "Boss ~ Eggman Nega - Sonic at the Olympic Games". |
| 3:32 | Crit1kal: "So after our amazing trip to uh, Legoland, back early two years ago, there was a—there was a independent YouTube-Tube channel I found a few years back called, uh, 'SiIvaGunner' and uh, you know, I'm— [clicks tongue] you know, normally I'm not one to get my dick moist about stuff and just like, my titties lactating about good music quality, but you know what? These guys have the most high quality rips this side of the seven seas. I tuned in to listen to what I though was going to be a Five Nights at Freddy's "Circus" remix? Turns out - nothing but GRAND DAD. 7 minutes of GRAND DAD, nonstop. I creamed my pants immediately, like, Jackson was just convulsing in absolute joy at the sight—no, the sound— of this absolute messiah of musical tones entering his ear canal and giving him the most intense orgasm of his life. And I've never seen a man just so wrought with near—what I would describe as biblical pleasure—writhing on our trip back home. [quickly] Anyway, that's it for me, see ya." | |
| 4:21 | Crit1kal: "So uh, I'm talking with Jackson of The Offical Podcast and he's—he's crying to me, just like, upset that HOBaRT, his main in King for Another Day 2, did not make it past Round 1. And I said—I look at him and I say to him, 'Listen, buddy: I don't care two shits about your main. HOBaRT was a terrible choice from the beginning! Listen man: you gotta sack up and live with that shit, alright? I'm pissed off too that Law & Disorder made it—didn't even make it to, like—top 2, at least. Top 2, at least. And it's just infuriating that people like Jack Bros. and just, Elmo & Jack didn't make that, but you know what? Tough shit, life happens, people die, women get their kids aborted; It's—it's a shit world. But you know we all live with our choices.'And obviously like nothing touches me, cause Killer Bean Forever is just like, the highest level of, just like, sexual tensity that a man— such as myself— can endure. But just— SiIvaGunner might just top the list. I'm gonna give it—I'm gonna give it a solid like 85 on the moist meter. You know, solid all around. Good—rough a bit around the edges, but you know what? Just smooth right through and through. Anyway, that's it for me, see ya." [Out of character, laughing] "I believe the secret is just sort of like ending it with just like 'Anyway, that's it for me, see ya.'" That's all—[more laughter] Crit1kal is gonna listen to this just like, 'Wait, what the fuck? I don't remember recording this. Wait, Jackson, Kai, do you know anything about this?'" |
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| 5:37 | "Alright, guys are you—[snickers] are you ready for the most Reddit Karma you're gonna get? (clears throat)"
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Source of the unused "Bazinga" intro. |
| 5:54 | "[cheap Brooklyn accent] Hey, Ma, I've made it into SiIvagunner. I may not be in da pictures, and I may not be in—on Broadway, but I made it to SiIvaGunner. I'll make the big YouTube money, ma. [sadly] You'll see one day! You'll see one day, ma! I'm gonna be the head of the high quality rips, you'll see!" "[even cheaper Brooklyn accent] Ah, you'll never make it in this business, you fool! It's all about the TikToks, you idiot!" "You'll see!" |
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| 6:18 | "Phew, damn! All this summer heat makes me want—[tongue tied] Okay, al— 'ight, now here's my shortest: JETSETRADIO!"
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Alternate take for the intro to "In The Lead - NASCAR Arcade", while briefly referencing the "longest 'Jet Set Radio' Ever" from the intro to "Humming the Bassline (Alpha Mix) - Jet Set Radio". |
| 6:26 | "[Trying out different voices] Bing bing Wahoo! Get ready for some Mario! Bing bing wahoo. Get ready for some Mario. [seriously] Bing Bing Wahoo. Get ready for some Mario. Bing bing Wahoo? Get ready... for some... Mario. Bing bing wahoo. Get ready for some Mario. [sadly] Bing bing, (sniffle) wahoo. Get ready for some Ma-some Ma- some Mario. [breaks into tears]"
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Alternate take(s) for the intro to "Desert - Alex Kidd in the Enchanted Castle". |
| 6:58 | "When I saw those results, I was like, [mesmerised] Woah!"
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Alternate take for the intro to "AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE A FUNKY BEAT (Beta Mix) - Lethal League Blaze". |
| 7:02 | Doofenshmirtz: "[heavy Drusselstein accent] PLATYPUS [more accent]" [imitating "Let Mom Sleep"] "'Would you stop playing with that [TV SITCOM.] of yours? I'm trying to get some sleep!'" |
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| 7:08 | "I can't— I can't believe Ness from Undertale made it all the way here for Jet Set— for King for Another Day. Absolutely fantastic. [applauding] Give 'im a hand, ladies and gentlemen, give 'im a hand."
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| 7:16 | “Ey yo, Rapid 99! I got a masseg—a-a massage-a massage?—ooh! I could- I could fancy some 'a that! You kiddin' me? I've been sittin' in this chair for the last 24 hours, I could use a damn massage! Don't get me wrong, this crown is PIMP, everything else? Hoo, I haven't used a new chair since 1997, bro! [away from the mic] Wait, when did we come out? 2000!? [back to the mic] I'm fuckin' ancient!
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Alternate take for the intro to "A Flicker of Hope - Sonic Rush". |
| 7:39 | “We got a letter comin’ in from your good pal, Nigra. It says —ahem— [sings the main theme of Halo] [Breaks out into laughter]" [Out of character, still laughing] "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, that was like, the first thing that came to my mind! [more laughter] Gottem! [continues laughing]
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Alternate take for the intro to "Wondering (A Prelude) - Pinball of the Dead". |
| 8:01 | "Keepin' those—[tongue tied] Ffffuck!" [Out of character] "Alright, I did— oh, FUCK!" |
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| 8:06 | "Ah, your old man’s got chops, but he ain’t all what he used to be. He gotta take a break sometime. SO, I brought some—[tongue tied] I don't know what I brought, shit. [laughing] What did I do again? Did I leave my medication on the table again? What's in the bag—Heh. What's in the fuckin' booooox!?"
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Alternate take for the into to "Tokyo Speedrun - Jet Set Radio Evolution", notably lacking the presence of DJ Doctor K. "What's in the fuckin' box!?" is a reference to the neo-noir film Se7en. |
| 8:23 | Stewie: "Oh, Brian. We're on Jet Set Radio, Brian." | |
| 8:28 | "Mmm, tragedy." | |
| 8:30 | "Ah, fuck, I can't believe you done this." [Out of character] "There we go, there we go, You can use that for whatever you need it to be." |
Reference to a YouTube video where a person says the phrase after getting hit. |
| 8:35 | "[Imitating Sonic] Ah! Watch out! You're gonna crash! OOH-WAH-AH-AH-AH! [Out of character] This is gonna be great behind the scenes footage." [laughs]
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See also[]
- DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel - Jet Set Radio Evolution - for all takes used in the broadcast