DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel - Jet Set Radio Evolution

"DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel - Jet Set Radio Evolution" is a high quality rip of "DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel" from Jet Set Radio Evolution.

Jokes

This is a voice reel for all of the DJ Professor K and DJ Doctor K voice lines used in "JET SET RADIO - 24/7 FUNKY FRESH BEATS FROM TOKYO-TO" and other videos.

Timestamp	Song	Preceding Intro	Note
0:00	"Bringing it All Back"	“Are y’all listening in, or what? Through the stars and beyond the seven seas is Tokyo-to’s number one pirate radio station, Jet Set Radiooooo! And I’m your bracket winner, your King for the Day, DJ Professor K! The people have spoken! It seems they fancy the sound of the radio. Now, that’s something I can get funky with, ha ha ha ha! Listen up, fools, we’re going to monster jam for the next 24 hours, so buckle up! ‘Cuz it’s time to let loose and get wild! JET SET RADIOOOOOOOO!”
0:45		"Bazinga."	Unused
0:46	Moonview Highway	"The beat is sick. If it’s not sick, why bother?"	Referencing Reggie Fils-Aimé's Nintendo Direct quote “The game is fun. If it's not fun, why bother?”
0:50	Desert	“Bing bing wahoo. Get ready for some Mario.”	Interestingly enough, Desert contained no references to Mario.
	AD BREAK #4	“Woah. Oh, that track went HARD. I’m gonna need to cut to commercial to cool off. We’ll-we’ll be right back. Hot damn, what are these kids making these days?! Phew!”
		"Havin' fun out there, folks? We're gonna take a short break but we'll be right back so don't you go nowhere!"	Appears to be an unused ad break intro
	AD BREAK #1	“Alright, folks, time to cut to commercial. Hey, even a pirate radio station needs to make money somehow! We’ll be right back.”
	AD BREAK #3	“Yo yo yo! That was some hot beats right there, but we’re gonna go to commercial break right now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go back to playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf on my Nintendo 3DS."	Refers to the Animal Crossing meme associated with Reggie Fils-Aimé.
		"Phew! Man, I sure do hope ya'll brought a change of socks 'cause I'm about to try and blow 'em off. Listen up!"	Unused
	Blizzard Peaks Act 2 (US version)	"Ooooh, is it c-c-c-c-cold in here? Or is it just me? This next one’s for you, Adam Levine."
	DEAD HEAT GROOVE #2	“Yo, shout-out to Ajit, who taught me how to spin a fidget spinner like MAD! These things man, haha, it’s like butter in your hand! I can’t get enough! Anyway, this is JET SET RADIOOOOO!"
	AIN’T NOTHIN' LIKE A FUNKY BEAT (Beta Mix)	“Hey, Cool Meme Team! Congratulations! I gotta give it to you, when I saw those results, I was like, ‘Woah! Nobody was expecting you guys to win the King for Another Day tournament!’ Well what can I say? Ain’t nobody can beat the Chungus. Hehehehehe. To congratulate you guys on your win, I’m having Beat send over some Reddit Gold for ya. Stay fresh, my brothers."
	Teknopathetic (Beta Mix) Intro	“Hey, this is KING DJ Professor K with Jet Set Radio, the baddest pirate radio station comin’ straight from the soul, right into your ears. Shout-out to Daft Punk and my man Pharrell, ha ha! Ain’t nobody understand the concept of digital love better than you guys."	"Digital Love" is a song on the Daft Punk album Discovery.
	Canvas Canyon (Beta Mix)	“Yo, Dedede! Kirby called me up yesterday and told you you was STUPID! Heh, yeah, that’s right, he was like, “Poyo-POP! Poyo-poyo-POP! Poyo-POP! Poyo-hot-diggety-POP! Poyo-POP!” What’chu gonna do about that, huh?”
	"Trombone Menu" Intro	“Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just listening to Jet Set Radio? Grab your coconut guns, ‘cuz we’re about to get funky with the monkey. Keep it crazy, DK! BANANA SLAMMA!”
	"Everyone in the Harbor" Intro	“Stop! I’ve gotta give a shout-out to Elmo and Jack! [Beat] Alright, that was a good stop. Now let’s roll out the next track!"	A reference to the Sesame Street video that inspired the duo.
	Mango! (Alpha Mix)	“This next one’s comin’ right at ya at supersonic speed, just for you, Eminem."	Imitation of the intro to "A Ghost's Pumpkin Soup", the BGM to Pumpkin Hill.
	"Hey Gino! You're a star."		Unused
		“Mmm. Listen to that funky music. You ain’t never gonna hear nothing this fresh except on Jet Set Radio, so don’t you touch tha…[light corpsing]...Don’t tou...don’t touch…[more laughter until out of breath] Ah, sorry, sorry, sorry folks. Hah… whew! I just, mmm! Hehe, I just happened to be thinkin’ about HOBa…[more laughter]...HOBaRT…[continued laughter]...Oh, such a funny mixer. Okay, I’m done, I’m done, it’s gone, it’s gone, out of my head. [pause. K tries to hold in his laughter, but snickers and lets it all out anyway] He-he-he’s a mixer! [laughter] He’s a mix-he’s a mix-he’s a mixer! [continued laughter] Oh, such a funny mixer…[laughs until he calms down, then starts up again] He’s a mixer! [laughs] You’re listening... to Jet Set Radio! I gotta find that dude! Oh, I don’t know why that’s funny!"
	Changing Seasons	“Yo yo yo, shout-out to the Jack Bros. It’s time for JET SET RADI-HEE-HOOOOO!”	References Jack Frost's famous laugh
	Swing	"Oh no… One of those Jazz Cats just showed up and gave me the augmented triad face..quick, we gotta play a real banger fast, or I ain’t able to play those Coltrane Changes ever again!"	References the "Augmented Triad Face" meme.
	The Last Word	“Woah, mama! Shout-out to Johnny Bravo, and all my friends over at CN City!”	References the CN City era of Cartoon Network
	Improvise	"This is Jet Set Radio, and hot Jiminy Cricket, I’m starving. I could for real use one of those Krabby Patties right about now. Yo Krabs! Get that joint of yours workin’ on doin’ delivery! You would make some maaaad cash."	The Krusty Krab tried once. It didn’t pan out.
	Rock It On (D.S Remix) (Unused Version)	“HOLD IT! I gotta shout-out to my boy Phoenix Wright! Get your pointer fingers ready, cuz’ you’ll know you ain’t gonna be able to TAKE THAT! funky rhythm!”
	Feel The Heat	“Hey, I’ve got a special shout-out to give, to my good friend Mariya Takeuchi. (sighs) Man, you were so close, girl. I still remember that first night we met. Bumped into you at at the lobby. You was all down after that first loss: gal out of her time in a new world she don’t understand. Thought you was done for. I forget if I told you at the time, but...I saw myself in you right then. Reminded me of how I felt during the first tournament. Come all the way from Tokyo-to just to be… beat right off the bat. Didn’t feel good man. And now would ya look what happened. Two losers became winners. [chuckles] You know, I’m proud to be here and all, but I gotta admit… there was a small part of me that’s....sad. Sad that you wasn’t the one who ended up on top in that final showdown. You woulda been great. I don’t know if you're hearing this right now— you and time got some funky relationship going on. But wherever, and whenever you are, I hope you’re doing a’ight. Stay chill. Stay chill, girl. [pause] Anyway, [clears throat] let's get back to the funk.”
	Ollie Groove #2	"Yo, this is Jet Set Radio, and [demonic voice] you are going to die in 72 hours. [normal] What the…? Hey! MissingNo....where you at? Get back here and help me with one of these tracks, will ya? I’m still reeling from our last jam session!"
	Intro	"[Trying out voices] "Kore ga, kore ga, kore ga, kore gaaaa, kore ga, kore gaaaaaa. This is Jet Set kore gaaaaaa."
	vs. Octopocus	“[Various attempts to speak Inkling] — aw, shoots. I can’t speak no Inkish, screw it. Yo! OTH! There’s one of your shooter-thingies here, you need to take it back, ‘cuz the GG’s are going haywire with it. Ugh, I’m gonna be covered in so much ink, I’m gonna turn into a squid myself soon! Get. Over. Here. Pronto."
	CORE (Unused Mix)	"Hey yo Papyrus, did you send me a...plate of spaghetti in the mail? Well we were thinkin’ you sent it, so we made sure to feed it to the dog. Haha, he loved it!"
	Twister (REMIX)	“Super Bass, Outer Space, in your face baby! Haha! This is Jet Set Radio! We’re kicking it live, even in the furthest reaches of the galaxy! And to all you aliens out there, yo, do me a solid and say ‘yeah’ to my good buddy Marcianito for me! [grito]”
	Gravity (Beta Mix)	“Sometimes, it helps to take a step back and soak in the gravity of the situation...with a little CAVE STORY! Haha, Shou—ahem-Oh god-oh-something’s in my throat— (clears throat) Sorry about that folks, I don’t know how that happened. Phew! Now where was I? Oh right- Cave Story, somethin’ about that, yadda yadda yadda… Shout-out to the best robo-kid out there, Quote! Yo, Polar Star? This one’s for you.”
	K.K. Groove-a-Numa ft. Isabelle	“Hey fellas. I got a heads-up from Reggie on who the next Smash fighter’s gonna be, heheh. I’d tell ya who, but (sigh) sucker made me sign an NDA. Well, screw it! Jet Set Radio doesn’t care about any N-D-A-B-C, nothin’! I'M in! I got the letter! I’ve reached peak performance, baby, and now… [sadly] I’m goin’ to jail..."
	Vitality	“There really ain’t nothin' like a funky beat, folks! And speakin’ of funky beats...yo, Rhythm Masters! You ever find yourselves in Tokyo-to, stop by the studio sometime. We could make a hell of a Megamix together!”
	Boss- Eggman Nega	“I’ve come to make an announcement— Dr. Robotnik is one bad-ass mother, and he deserves a prrrrromotion! I’m King DJ Professor K, and you’re listening to Jet Set Radiooooo!"	Referencing the Moon rant from the Real Time Fandub Games Sonic Adventure 2 Team Dark run, and iteachvader’s “Robotnik Rock”.
	The Metamorphasis	"Uh, Snake? You there? Snake? C’mon, answer me man! Snake? SNAKE? SNAAAAAKE!"
	Spring Valley - Paternal Horn (Angry)	“Shout-out to the most badass Mickey Mouse in town! I’m talking about my man, Thanos! Get those finger snaps ready— everyone except Thanos, that is. Eheh. You should, er, probably lay off the snaps, dude. Do that funky dance, instead.	Referring to the Avengers/Fortnite collab
	Everybody Jump Around	“Hey Wario! You still owe me that meatball sandwich you stole from me in the cafeteria! AND a pizza! AND some Doritos! AND my wallet. So...come on down sometime and bring that stuff back. AND we could have a rotten good time jammin’ too, ha ha ha… but I do need that wallet back.”
	Tutorial	“This next one’s for you, ZUN, ‘cuz you’re about to get drunk with the funk.”
	Gonna Make You Sweat	“ Mmm-mmm-mmm! That was one fine track.Just like real good chicken, finger lickin! In case you just tuned in, you’re listening to Jet Set Radio, the funkiest radio station this side of Tokyo-to.”
	In the Lead	"Whoa, damn! All this summer heat makes me want more King for Another Day content! (sigh) I wish SiIvaGunner had some content farms..."
	Dragula (Si Non Oscillas, Noli Tintinarre Mix)	“Jet Set Radio— whether you’re chilling on your couch or in your coffin, don’t forget to tune us in to keep you company.”
	The Answer (The Latch Brothers Remix)	“[pause] Yo! Has anyone seen my dog? He’s gone missing! Oh, he couldn’t take the heat! [from farther away from the microphone:] Boy, where you at!?? Oh, shoot, uh- [closer to the mic:] This is Jet Set Radio. [farther:] Where you at?! "
	Tokyo Speedrun	"Hey, this is Jet Set Radio. Now, heck, did you rudies expect me to run this thing for the full 24 hours? (laughs) Your old man’s got chops, but he ain’t all what he used to be. He gotta take a break sometime. So I brought some help to make sure we got the best manning it for you all day and all night long.” “Yo, how’s it hangin’, punks!? Ready for a change of pace?” “I’ve brought on my daughter, Doctor K, to take the wheel for a spin while your king takes a view. Don’t you worry, though, we’re still gonna keep this radio the baddest things since rotten eggs!” “I’m DJ Doctor K, and my old man is finally letting me help him DJ. Get ready, because if you aren’t dancing yet, we’ll have you partying in no time!” “JET SET RADIOOOOO!”
	Humming the Bassline (D.S. Remix) (Beta Mix)	“Hey! AGES! You listenin’? This next one’s dedicated to you!”	Doctor K's more frequent shout-outs in her broadcasts is to AGES, a reference to the "To be this good takes AGES" slogan of old SEGA.
	September	“Jet Set Sona! Listen up, you wanna see some funky fresh art? Check out my extra-special MOJO post. Wanna contribute? Spray up that canvas and hashtag that sucker with #JSSxKFAD. [sound effect:] Cmon!"	Doctor K was created as the face of the #JetSetSona project.
	Omake 11	“Look, I, um, was definitely rooting for my old man, but (whispers) just between you and me? Dr. Piccolo was where it was at, yo! Shonen Jump AND he’s a doctor? Oh man, it was a match made in heaven!"
	24 Hours	"There’s only one thing that’s never gonna give you up, let you down, run around, or desert you. And that’s JET SET RADIOOOOO! [high-pitched samples of "Never Going to Give You Up" play]”	A verbal Rick Roll.
	Let it Go	“Beats so hard, they’ll stop your heart. Don’t worry, I can get it bumping again. [sound effect:] Funky.”
	Mango! (Beta Mix)	"I thought you’d be back by 11.” “I said, I’d be back later.” “You ASSUMED you would be back later, IF you came back at all, you’d be back later!” “Well, I’m back, okay?” “Is this...rubble?” “(eating) It was just a little workout! Just to stay loose.” “You know how I feel about that, pops! Don’t you? We can’t blow cover again.” “Eh, the building was coming down anyway.” “What!? You knocked out a building!?” “It was already on fire. Structurally unsound. It was comin’ down anyway.” “Tell me you haven’t been listening to the police scanner again.” "Look, I performed a public service. You act like that’s a bad thing.” “It IS a bad thing, pops! Uprooting our family again so you could relive the glory days is a very bad thing!” “Reliving the glory days is better than acting like they didn’t happen!” “Yes! They happened! But THIS, our family, is what’s happening now, pops, but missing this? I can’t believe you didn’t go to your own son’s graduation!” “It is not a graduation. He’s moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade.” “It’s a ceremony!” “It’s psychotic! They keep comin’ up with new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional—” “This is not about you, dad. It’s about Beat.” “Want to do something for Beat? Then let him actually compete! Let him go out for sports!” “I will not be made the enemy here. You know why we can’t do that.” “BECAUSE HE’D BE GREAT!” “This is not about you!” [long pause] “(sigh) Alright, Beat, I know you’re listening. Come on out, man.” “Gum? You too, young lady.”	Parody of a scene from The Incredibles, with Professor K in the role of Bob Parr and Doctor K in the role of Helen Parr.
	BGM #07	“Love Shockers! How’s it hangin’? Still gettin’ over your nasty breakup? Heh, I understand! You think someone my age was from the Tokyo-to sewers. Anyway, Next track coming up!”
	Metal Scratchin' (Part 2)	"Hey hey, Noise Tanks, I got a message for ya: (clears throat) Beep boop boop beep. Bzzt, boop toop, beep boop. For all my human ears, that means: Screw their boss! Hahaha! JET SET RADIOOOOOO!"
	A Flicker of Hope	“Ey yo, Rapid 99! I got a message for you straight from your sewer-dwelling pals. Poison Jam says you...Ooooh. Oh ho hoho...you STINK worse than them!? Oh, NO, they did not just go there, they NOT just say that! Ho, damn! What y’all gonna do about this, ladies?
	Dance in the Galaxy	“Grab onto your Mortys, ‘cuz this one’s gonna wubba-dubba-lub-dub all the Ricks in the multiverse!”
	The Ship	“All right, let’s uh, let’s take a look at this. Grand Set? Radio? Aaaw… Grand Set. Grand Set! Grand SET?! Grand Set!”	7 GRAND DAD's title screen, as lovingly recounted by Vinesauce's Joel.
	Funky Dealer (Unused Version)	“Hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ wife, cuz’ Jet Set Radio is comin’ away to steal your soul!"	References Antoine Dodson’s “Bed Intruder” interview / Schmoyoho’s “Bed Intruder” song
	Burnin' Rubber	"It’s a HOT one! I’m on fire, baby! No, really, I am actually on fire right now. Somebody call 911! Aah, ah, aah, AAAAAHH!”
	Death by Glamour (Unused version)	"There are 24 hot singles in your area, and guess what? They’re all listening to Jet Set Radi-OOH!"
	Groove Rush #3 (OST Version)	"“Hey! I KNOW you ain’t asleep! You can sleep any other day, but not during these beats! JET SET RADIOOOOO!”
	Theme of After the Fight	"This is Jet Set Radio, comin’ to you live to give you the freshest jams from the jam store. Next up is a real top-notch— Hey, hey, heyeyeyeyey! HEY! Beat! Put that mother flippin' thing back before I come over there an— ugh. Kids these days. Trust me folks, you do NOT want to know what he was about to play. No siree. Anyway, (clears throat) back to business."
		My name's DJ Professor K... and I will be attempting... the longest 'Jet Set Radio' ever. [breathes in] A'ight. A'ight we doin' this. Alright here we go. [clears throat] We doin' this, we doin' this. [clears throat] Jet Set RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO	Later made into "Jet Set Groove #7 (Unused) - Jet Set Radio Evolution"
		"Grab your loved ones and ask them to a slow dance 'cause it's time to get chill."
	Diary Menu	“What’s happenin’, my memers and streamers, this is Jet Set Radio comin’ to you with the best of the best. This next one is so fire, your grandpa’s gonna get cremated twice!”
	Wondering (A Prelude)	“Yo, we got a letter comin’ in from your good pal, Nigra. It says —ahem— [Does his best Nigra impression] (Whispering) jet set radiooooo...."	Very loud!

DJ Professor K's Scratchin' Reel - Jet Set Radio Evolution

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