Meanwhile, in the tower…
The Voice's office was completely trashed. In the midst of it all stood the same robotic figure who had driven the voice out.
???: I'm having a lot of fun.
I'm always on duty.
The robot wandered in circles, searching in vain an upright thing to knock over.
???: Oh, Minecrap!
???: Minecrap! Do you know what my favorite thing to do is in Minecrap?
???: I'm having a lot of Minecrap.
The robot paused, confused.
???: I'm having a lot of iPad.
Suddenly, its head twitched.
???: Oh look, a free- favorite thing to do is in Mine-
doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Sparks started to fly out of it.
???: IIII'M HAVING A LOOOT OF FUN
The robot's movements and speech begin gradually decreasing in speed, as if it was winding down.
???: I'MMMM BETTER THAN YOUUU ARE SO IIIIII SHOULD DOOOOOOO THE RE....
OOOOOOOoooo minecrap
Sparks poured like geysers out of ever joint and ground to a complete halt. The lights in his eyes flickered and died.
With some whirring and screeching, a freshly-printed piece of paper emerged from the robot's mouth. The door to the office opened and in strolled in Haltmann, who impatiently grabbed it and mulled it over its content. He read out loud:
Haltmann: "This robot has been terminated at the DMCA request of Mark Timotei."
Haltmann: Of course, I should have made Gadgetini Clone 2.0 copyright-proof.
Haltmann pushed the deactivated Gadgetini Clone out of the way.
Haltmann: No matter, The Voice is gone anyway.
I guess it's to the scrap heap you go, then.
He pushed a button, a hatch opened beneath the broken desk, sending it and the deactivated robot plummeting down a large hole.
In its place ascended a brand new desk.
Haltmann pressed the to activate the desk's intercom. Throughout the entire city, the screens lit up to reveal Haltmann's face!
Haltmann: Citizens and Figments of Earth! I am President Haltmann.
Forget everything you know about the Voice.
Because from here on out...
His eyebrows furrowed.
Haltmann: I am your new leader!
Haltmann: My goal is not to destroy anime. In fact, all I want to do is create high quality rips.
I must make sure that SilvaGunner's rips are as high quality, and as valuable as possible...
Haltmann: ...so that we can profit as much as possible when we sell the channel off!
I'm sure the Galactic Federation or the Gogol Empire will pay very good money for a channel like this one...
Haltmann pressed a button, and the screens throughout the city switched off, but the intercom remained active in the tower.
Haltmann: So, everyone. What are you waiting for?
GET TO RIPPING!
Haltmann switched off the intercom entirely, and brought up an auction screen. After filling out a few details, he clicked a button, and the screen showed SilvaGunner's icon with a price tag next to it.
Haltmann: Let the bidding wars commence.
Meanwhile, in the Rapper's Union headquarters…
Snoop Dogg and Soulja Boy we're standing around the ruined Rapper's Union Room, still reeling from the fight against the Kazoo Master. They had just watched Haltmann's broadcast.
Soulja Boy: Yo, y'all heard What Haltmann said? That n*gga's in charge now!
Snoop snorted, and let out a huge wisp of smoke.
Snoop Dogg: Some rich egg-lookin' ass motherfucker think he gon' stop me? Helllll no.
Soulja Boy: Well… consider the fact that Chip got fuckin' capped and Barkley was a double dribblin' agent. And… wait… wasn't there another guy?
Snoop Dogg: I'm pretty sure the Union never had a fifth member.
Soulja Boy: Huh.
Snoop Dogg: In any case, that just means we gotta get recruiting' again. But this time…
Snoop pocketed his gun.
Snoop Dogg: ...not for battle.
Snoop picked up a megaphone and made his way outside. With the Voice's rule and military dismantled, the streets were embroiled in rioting!
But Snoop kept his cool, hopped up on a nearby crate, and switched on his megaphone.
Snoop Dogg: Ay yo listen the fuck up n*ggas.
Everyone turned to face Snoop.
Snoop Dogg: Now that the Voice is outta the picture and we got some dude with a lotta money in charge, y'all just gon' run around breakin' shit?
Snoop Dogg: Come the FUCK on, n*gga! That ain't the G way.
Snoop raised his fist in the air in defiance.
Snoop Dogg: Violence ain't gon' get us nowhere. We gotta stick together, sticky-icky-icky. Power in numbers, n*gga.
Snoop Dogg: No longer shall the Rapper's Union be exclusive to rappers.
Soulja Boy: W-what?!
Snoop Dogg: ‘S right homie. Now anyone can join.
Snoop Dogg: There's only one way to fight a president…
Snoop pulled out a boombox and pressed the play button.
Snoop Dogg: And that's with another president.
Snoop saluted.
Snoop Dogg: Vote me for president 2017, ya heard?
The crowd of people stood there for a moment, completely silent.
But then, they erupted into cheers and thunderous applause.
Crowd: DOWN WITH HALTMANN! SNOOP FOR PRES!
DOWN WITH HALTMANN! SNOOP FOR PRES!
Snoop Dogg: ...What the fuck.
Meanwhile, in the garage…
Meta Knight, Santa and Nozomi we're watching the crowds of people praising Snoop.
Santa: That young man's got a way with words, I'll give him that.
Meta Knight: And to think he was the kind of person to smoke weed every day.
Nozomi nodded. She was feeling better after her rest.
Meta Knight: Onto more pressing matters. Now is the time to move in and rescue the figments. The tower should be very light on security now with the barracks dismantled.
Santa: Will Snoop and Soulja be coming?
Meta Knight: …I have a feeling they're going to be busy for a while.
Santa: Well… the Smolitzer is repaired and in tip top shape! What about you, young lady?
Nozomi had a fiery look of determination in her eyes. She was ready to save her friends!
Santa: That's the spirit!
Nozomi hopped into the Smolitzer with Santa and Meta Knight along for the ride. The dream team was ready to go!
Nozomi, Meta and Santa made their way through the crowds and crowds of people who were already sporting “Snoop 2017” flags.
Santa: Good heavens, he works fast!
Soon enough, they had reached the tower's base, which had a mob in front of it.
Crowd: DOWN WITH HALTMANN! SNOOP FOR PRES!
DOWN WITH HALTMANN! SNOOP FOR PRES!
Leading the protesters was a muscly naked black man.
Meta Knight: Could it be?
???: HUGHHHHH!
Crowd: Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
He turned around. It was a familiar face. Of course...
Meta Knight: Nigra! I knew you'd pull through!
It was indeed the legendary Loud Nigra. His bold voice echoed through the streets, spurring the people on.
Loud Nigra: AGHHHH!
The Nigra pointed towards the gate. Then, he pulled his fist back.
THWACK!
Loud Nigra's fist tore through the gate with the force of a thousand suns!
Santa: Move in!
Loud Nigra: HUAGGHHHH!
Loud Nigra lead the charge through the gate and into the tower!
Nozomi tried to walk inside the tower aboard the Smolitzer… but it was too large for the door frame.
Santa: Just dismount for now. You're able that thing on command, right?
Nozomi nodded and leapt out of the robot, and walked inside, with Meta Knight and Santa following suit.
Meta Knight: Nigra, stand back! There could be traps
Loud Nigra: a
Meta Knight, Santa and Nozomi Made their way ahead into the main lobby.
Suddenly, the floor opened up underneath them.
Meta Knight: Spoke too soon.
Santa and Nozomi plummeted into the depths of the pit.
Meta Knight opened his wings and dove down after them.
BOOF!
Santa and Nozomi fell onto a huge pile of waste.
Santa: Good lord! This place smells worse than year-old eggnog!
Santa pulled Nozomi out of the pile of garbage.
A moment later, Meta Knight alighted nearby.
Meta Knight: May I advise that you lose a few pounds?
Santa: Pah! It's not fair, you have wings…
Meta Knight: I do indeed. Bask upon my lightweight, graceful, glor-
THWACK!
A large, broken table suddenly fell onto Meta Knight.
Santa: Ho…hoho…
Meta Knight: Let's just get out of here.
The group took in their surroundings. They seemed to have fallen down a long, dark shaft with no sign of the surface above.
Meta Knight: There's a door over there; let's check it out.
The group opened the door. A curious sight greeted them.
It seemed to be a laboratory. Wires, papers and other junk was strewn about. There were bars of glowing green goo, buzzing screens, glass cases, door after door after door…
Santa: What in Jack Frost's name is going on here? Is that… Christmas Spirit?
Meta Knight: This must be where the Voice has been producing his own.
He sure doesn't keep this place clean...
Amidst the vats of Christmas Spirit were glass display sets with all sorts of different creatures and their habitats.
Meta Knight: This is insane. The Voice was making more than just Spirit here…
Santa picked up a clipboard on the floor next to one of the displays.
Santa: “Figment Cloning Test #07. Figment: Cole Phelps from L.A. Noire. Cloning partially successful, two new subjects created: E and L. E shows greater strength, yet L has more agility and long-range capabilities.”
Santa: Oh ho ho ho, genetic meddling. My favourite!
Meta Knight: There's more…
Meta Knight picked up another clipboard nearby.
Meta Knight: “Human Figment Extraction Test #05. Subject: Adam Levine.”
Nozomi as getting anxious at all the creatures staring at her.
Santa: I think it's best we keep moving… for her sake.
Soon enough, they made their way through the labs and reached a solid, large door which read: “Gestation Chamber / This Way To Tower Lobby”
Meta Knight, Santa, and Nozomi entered the door to find a single man, standing on the edge of a large pool of Christmas Spirit. Inside the tank was a large creature. Hoses and wires led in and out of the tank, carrying the artificial Christmas Spirit and other chemicals into it.
???: I won't fail you; I'm so close to making you real…
Meta Knight: You there, what do you think you're doing? Get away from that stuff!
???: How dare you… This is MY WIFE!!!
Meta Knight: That thing is your… wife?
???: Yes. I'll do anything for he, so I'm going to bring my love to this world with the Christmas Spirit I've been recreating.
Santa: So you're the source of this horrible ecounterfeit spirit… I should have expected no less from such a naughty child…
Santa: JustinRPG.
Justin turned to face the group, and pointed angrily at Santa.
Justin: You don't know what it feels like, Santa. Being apart for so long…
There's no limit to things I would do for love!
Justin: After so many failures tonight like the destruction of your factory and this Windows Vista blue screening on me multiple times, I will not let Reshie slip out of my grasp!
Meta Knight: …”Reshie”?
Justin started to go into a daze at the thought of his one true love.
Justin: Oooooh, my love Reshiram, the Fire dragon Pokémon. She's powerful enough to kill me, but she won't because she's so protective of me!
Santa was starting to get upset.
Santa: This is a perversion of Christmas Spirit! You must stop all of this; you don't know what you're messing with! Joe only realized this when he was too late!
Justin: SHUT UP! The Voice saw potential in me and gave me this lab to help fuel his global takeover! I'm so close to bringing Reshie into this world— trying to stop me is USELESS!
Justin slammed a button, and an enormous glass wall crashed down between him and his three adversaries.
Santa: JUSTIN, DON'T!
Nozomi raised her hand and let out a loud cry!
BOOM!
Just like that, the Smolitzer came crashing down in front of her.
She quickly hopped inside, reared back the Smolitzer's fist and delivered a forceful but futile punch to the barrier.
Justin: Don't bother trying to break through; that glass is strong enough to withstand 80% of Pokèmon's attacks.
Meta Knight: Save your energy, Nozomi. I'm getting a bad feeling about this.
Nozomi stood down.
Justin: I failed to bring Moltres and Meganium into this reality…
Justin grew a sinister smile.
Justin: But you, Reshie! You'll finally be with me, just as it was meant to be! Together forever, together forever, TOGETHER FOREVER!!!
Justin started entering commands in a nearby terminal.
Justin: Forget the Voice's plans! This is my last chance! Now is the time to awaken you!
Justin: RESHIRAMMMMMMM!
Justin then hit a large button on a control panel. Wires began to spark, and lights began to flicker. The pit of artificial Christmas Spirit energized, revealing the form within.
Justin: YES!
Just then, screens around the laboratory room overloaded and burst into flames! The power in the lab suddenly went out, and emergency lights kicked in.
Justin: Wha—no no no! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!
???: What a shame, Justin.
I had such high hopes for you.
Suddenly, a familiar voice echoed out from overhead speakers.
The Voice: To think you'd take this unauthorized experiment so far.
...no wonder tonight has been such a failure.
Justin was nonplussed.
Justin: S-Sir! I thought that… Haltmann—
The Voice: That turncoat won't know what's coming. But you…
You are so predictable. One look at your discography and anyone could tell what you were planning.
Justin: P-Please don't take Reshiram from meeeee!
The Voice: Oh my… Now Justin, I wouldn't be so heartless to do so, especially now that you have guests with you.
Justin: Huh?
A second glass wall dropped behind Nozomi's troupe, sealing off the exit.
The Voice: In fact, I fully intend on reuniting you with your… wife.
The monitors that hadn't been destroyed all flickered on with a bright purple glow. All the pumps and generators were flooded with excess power and began to transfer it into the tank.
Justin: Ah!
Justin: Yes!
Suddenly the pumps exploded, flinging Justin straight into a wall!
Justin: OOF!
Justin picked himself up and approached the pit cautiously to peek over the edge.
Justin: R-Reshie? My dear?
A low rumble emanated from the tank but the pool was too dark to see into.
Justin: It… IT DIDN'T WORK! YOU LIED TO ME, VOICE!
The Voice: I can assure you, Justin, I have not. Take a closer look.
The lab began to rumble and the liquid in the tank started bubbling vigorously. A large shadow emerged.
Justin: Re…
Justin: RESHIE!!!
Justin stretched out ready to embrace his love.
Justin: KISS ME, RESHIE!
Reshiram stares down at Justin.
The Voice: Be careful what you wish for, Justin.
Justin: Huh?
Reshiram: GROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Justin: Huh? R-Reshie?!?!
Reshiram then lunged forward, swallowing Justin!
Justin: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Santa: JUSTIN!
Reshiram then pulled Justin back into the tank.
Meta Knight: I suppose he went out the way he always wanted to…
We need to find a way out of here.
Santa: You're right; we can't afford to waste time stuck here.
Meta Knight: I don't suppose that's our way, out is it?
Meta Knight pointed to a sign reading “EXIT”,
above a door on the other side of the pit.
Santa: It's gonna to be hard to get there with this big wall in front of us.
Nozomi saw an emergency door release with a hand scanner and slammed the Smolitzer's hand through it. The wall retreated back into the ceiling.
Santa: Oh.
Meta Knight: I suggest we keep moving forward now.
Santa and Nozomi nodded in agreement as the intercoms came back on.
The Voice: I won't be allowing that. I've already locked that door.
Santa: We'll just force it down, then. Do you plan on trying to stop us here?
The Voice: Stop you? You amuse me, Sana Claus. My intent was always to KILL you. However, my hands are full with something else. It will be the one to take care of you.
Meta Knight: …It?
The sludge within the pit began to move violently again as violent roars were heard from beneath the deep.
Suddenly, a huge arm reached out from the pool!
Santa: WHAT IN GOD'S NA—
The hand slammed down, shattering floor tiles. A lumbering figure started to pull itself out from the depths of the pit.
Wires leading into the pit began to snap as the horror hoisted itself up.
[Cutscene which zooming into parts of “it” before zooming out to show the entire thing]
The Voice: Behold, my finest creation yet…
The Voice: Ju'Reshoggoth!!!
The humongous creature fixed its gaze on the interlopers before it. It had white fur covering parts of its body - but where it did not there was pale, veiny, rotting skin with open gashes and twisted human appendages.
Its face was an amalgamation of human and animal features, with ruined eye sockets, decaying teeth and human hair - or rather what was left of it.
A disturbing sound was coming out of its entrails…
Ju'Reshoggoth: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Santa: Everyone, get back!
Ju'Reshoggoth slammed its fist down fiercely, obliterating the floor where Santa, Nozomi, and Meta Knight were seconds before.
Meta Knight: This power!
The monster then swept its large fist across the floor, slamming Meta Knight into the wall.
Ju'Reshoggoth: GWAHAHA! You are not unlike ants fighting the sun!
Santa reaches for his cannon and stared firing coal at the goliath, who used its other hand to swat the blazing pellets out of the air!
Santa: It's too big!
Ju'Reshoggoth: FOR YOU!
The monster violently lurched at Santa!
Ju'Reshoggoth: Now That Reshie and I are together forever, nothing else matters!
Ju'Reshoggoth's eyes started to glow orange.
Ju'Reshoggoth: Now prepare for an attack that can kill 80% of all humans in one hit!
The creature fixed its gaze on Nozomi.
Ju'Reshoggoth: FUSION FLARE!
Light shine upon the room, seemingly from heaven, as Ju'Reshoggoth opened its Mae and was enveloped in a burning orange glow. A foreboding ball of flame shaped itself out of thin air and flashed towards Nozomi, who tried to jump out of the fireball's path.
She managed to avoid the brunt of the hit, but one of the Smolitzer's arms was vapourized by the flare.
Meta Knight: Nozomi!
There was no time to waste. Ju'Reshoggoth charged at Nozomi and opened its maw wide. Inside of it, Santa could see what appeared to be teeth, each one as sharp as a knife. Santa realized what Ju'Reshoggoth was planning and sprang to Nozomi, pushing her out of the way of Ju'Reshoggoth's attack.
CRUNCH!
For a moment, Santa felt nothing.
When had he closed his eyes! He knew what awaited him, but decided to open them anyway. And there it was. Or rather, there it wasn't. His right arm, gone. In its place, a bloody stump. He couldn't tell. And frankly, he didn't care.
Then it hit him. All of it. The pain, the screaming, the tears.
The taunting laughter of that wretched fiend.
Ju'Reshoggoth: GHAHAHA! I didn't think one would fall so easily!
Two to go!
Nozomi rushes back to the injured man and tried to assist him in he panic.
Santa: Nozomi, you must keep moving. Staying here will only doom us both.
Nozomi was trying to hold back tears as her friend howled in pain.
Meta Knight had recollected himself after pulling himself out of the wall and looked over to see Santa bleeding out.
Meta Knight: You won't get away with this!
The small warrior flew to Ju'Reshoggoth at breakneck speed and slashed his sword, leaving a bloody gush in the monster's chest.
Justin: FOOLISH SWORDSMAN!
Meta Knight was caught off guard by the back of Ju'Reshoggoth's hand and was swatted out of the way, hitting machinery on the way down.
Ju'Reshoggoth: BIATCH!
Meta Knight was knocked out cold.
The demon then turned to face Nozomi and the crippled Santa Claus.
Ju'Reshoggoth: Now, YOU MUST DIE!
Ju'Reshoggoth reared it's ugly head back as its eyes glowed blue, preparing the final blow.
Santa: Nozomi! RUN!
Nozomi looked up at her impending doom with anger in her eyes and took off right towards Ju'Reshoggoth!
Santa: No!
Ju'Reshoggoth: BLUE FLARE!
A flash of blue light enveloped Ju'Reshoggoth, who gleamed with power. The instant after, a flash of blue light enveloped Nozomi and her Smolitzer, and light the entire area around them on fire.
As Nozomi tried to figure out a way out of the flames, she felt s thick, hairy arm pick her up and take her out of the Smolitzer. Once she was set down, she turned around to see who it was.
It was Santa Claus himself, clothes tattered, cauterizing his arm—or what was left of it—in the fire of the burning Smolitzer. But the first thing she noticed about Santa was the green radiance that surrounded him.
Santa: I never thought I'd have to used this stuff on myself.
But so cannot let my friends be the only heroes today.
Santa leapt at JuReshoggoth's face, fist ready to pummel. Ju'Reshoggoth saw this coming and opened its mouth once again, catching Santa midair and swallowing him whole.
Ju'Reshoggoth: Well That was easy. Alright, time to kill you too.
Ju'Reshoggoth grabbed Nozomi and began to taunt her.
Ju'Reshoggoth: Now, you and your friends are dead. It's game over, you pesky brat.
Nozomi shook her head. It couldn't be over yet.
Ju'Reshoggoth: He's DEAD! The great Santa Claus — dead at last!
Ju'Reshoggoth: And WE killed him, Reshie! You and me, TOGETHER!
At this point, a weak voice was heard from the other end of the laboratory.
Meta Knight: I wouldn't be too sure about that.
Ju'Reshoggoth: WHAT?
Ju'Reshoggoth was was cut short by a squelch coming from its stomach. It began to glow green.
Ju'Reshoggoth: Uh-oh.
A hairy fist burst out of the beast's stomach, sending blood and guts flying everywhere. A giant hole remained, revealing a battered Santa, who ignored the digestive process and was very much alive.
Ju'Reshoggoth: N-GGGGRRLL!
Santa tore a bigger hole in Ju'Reshoggoth's stomach and jumped out. He was covered in entrails and tenacity and turned around to taunt the wounded fiend.
Santa: So you wanna eat me, HUH?
Santa reaches back into the monster's chest with his only arm and snapped a bone off of Ju'Reshoggoth's ribcage.
Santa: Eat this!
He took the rib and drove it through Ju'Reshoggoth's eye, all while smiling like a madman.
Ju'Reshoggoth: SANTAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!
The beast screamed, desperately clawing at its face ina useless attempt to remove the rib from its eye socket.
Santa: Oh… and don't forget about dessert.
Santa grabbed his coal cannon and loaded it with a ball of green coal. He grinned and shot it into the monster's stomach, where it unceremoniously landed with a thump. Ju'Reshoggoth stopped clawing at its eye and faced Santa.
Ju'Reshoggoth: THAT'S the best you've got? All this back and forth and Christmas Spirit this, and Christmas Spirit that, and all you manage to do is rip a hole in me?
Ju'Reshoggoth: I got news for you, Santa. Now that I am with Reshie, I CAN NEVER DIE.
Santa turned around and looked for Nozomi. He started heading towards her, but not before turning his head towards Ju'Reshoggoth and responding to the taunt.
Santa: You're already Dead.
The ball of coal exploded with the force of a small warhead within Ju'Reshoggoth.
Ju'Reshoggoth: Together, forever—
The monster was shredded by the force of the blast, splattering the entire lab with blood and gore.
Santa winced and groaned as the green aura faded away.
Santa: Gah, the spirit really does a number on you in larger doses.
Nozomi lept at Santa and hugged him tightly. The one armed man patted her on the back softly.
Santa: Now now, I'm alright. Where's Meta Knight?
A scuffled up Meta Knight limped towards the two.
Meta Knight: I am deeply sorry for not being of much use to you in this chaos, if I were only more capable, you would still have your ar—
Santa: No need to blame yourself. You helped plenty by creating a weak point in that abomination's chest.
Meta Knight: Thank you, Santa.
Santa picked himself up and looked towards the smouldering remains of the Smolitzer.
Santa: That's not getting fixed anytime soon…
He then looked down at his stump.
Santa: And neither is that.
Meta Knight: As much as I'd like for us to rest, we should keep moving forward. It's the only way we can stop further devastation from happening.
The three looked towards the exit door.
Meta Knight: Let's save the world, Santa Claus.
Santa: Right. Let's go.
[Text appears on-screen, reading "TO BE CONTINUED".]
