The rip presents itself as an Abraham Lincoln-themed episode of a history show called "True Facts History", hosted by Chaze the Chat and PoliSlix. However, as the video continues, it gets progressively more absurd and inaccurate.
Included among the background music are "Brutal man's daily life" from Sengoku Rance at 1:34 and "The Door" from Deltarune at 2:07.
At the end of the video is a credits sequence that credits Javier Bandito Jr. III, Jeremy Cüllhér, Sharpe McQueen, Blender Productions Inc., Haltmann Works Co., SmokyThrill77, and "Viewers like you". After this is a URL titled TinyURL.com/TrueFactsHistory. This will lead to an entry by Chaze the Chat posted on the Poliwager forums (a Pokémon fan forum) on October 23, 2018. The entry reads as follows:
Abraham Lincoln was born on February 19, 1874. He. grew up in Alberta, Canada, but illegally immigrated to the US when he was fourteen. No one ever found out about this, which is how he was able to become president. After he became president, he was able to beat the south in the civil war by using the Canadian secret service (secretly). When he retired, he went down as the 16th most poular president of the US. One day, someone invented American money. Abraham Lincoln wanted to be on the dollar, but sadly he was notpopular enough to be on any of the dollars, or the quarter, or the dime, nickel, half dollar, gold dollar, silver dollar, or the counterfeit dollar. So they made him a special coin worth 1/100th of a dollar, put his face on it, and called it the penny. When they released it, it even came with a slogan: "Hey, Abe, this is exactly how much we think you are worth!" He then quit his job as a suit/oversized hat salesman and got his friend John Wilkes Booth to shoot him. The government then felt so bad they also put him on the five dollar bill. The government then felt so bad they also put him on the five dollar bill. This also was released with a slogan: "We didn't mean it, Abe!"
Abraham Lincoln is regarded now as one of the best, most widely accepted presidents. But what events in his childhood led him to become President of the United States? Find out the true story of Abraham Lincoln today, on True Facts History.
[Cut to PoliSlix in a rocking chair. Caption: Jeremy Cüllhér]
Hello, and welcome to our show today, True Facts History. We’ll be talking about a very popular and highly-regarded president, Mr. Abraham Lincoln. He was one of our first presidents, and he’s most commonly referred to when talking about the Civil War of the United States and the abolishment of slavery.
Let’s begin with Abraham Lincoln’s childhood. He was born on February 19th, 1874. He grew up in Alberta, Canada, until the age of fourteen, when he knew it was time to leave. He then illegally immigrated to the United States to begin a new life.
[Cut to Chaze swaddled up in a blanket. Caption: Sharpe McQueen]
You may think it was all fun and games, but the soon-to-be president was having a hard time adjusting to American culture.
Since he was so young, he had to make new friends in America so that he wouldn’t become secluded and seen as a foreigner. He was self-educated and learned many things from dealing with people about the inner workings of politics.
[Cut to photo of George Washington Carver.]
One of his dear friends, the renowned peanut designer George Washington, suggested that, since he was so good at it, he should go into politics himself.
At the age of 45, he started a campaign to become the leader of the Republican party.
George Washington and Abe were such good friends, they eventually got their faces carved into a mountain together! [Cut to photo of Mount Rushmore.]
George could really sense Abe’s intuition as a political leader.
[Cut to photo of Stephen A. Douglas.]
Abraham Lincoln ran against his Democratic rival, Stephen A. Baldwin, and ended up winning the political race. It was extremely close, but Stephen wasn’t able to surpass him. [Chuckling] Abe was quite speedy!
After Lincoln became president, he moved into a small wooden house in Pennsylvania with his wife. Many people often came to visit to take pictures of his famous Gettysburg address, and still do to this day. It remains a popular tourist spot for the American citizens.
Although the race was won, Lincoln’s presidency was far from smooth sailing.
During his presidency, there were several allegations of Abraham Lincoln not being born in the United States. These allegations eventually became so serious that the nation divided itself, and the North and South entered into a Civil War.
Despite the rumors circulating regarding Abe’s citizenship, Abe boldly used the Canadian Secret Service secretly to eventually win the Civil War.
[Cut to this piece by DeviantArt user SharpWriter.]
With the unparalleled tactics of the CSS at his back, the Southern uprising was easily quelled. With the war coming to a close, along with Abe’s second term, he quickly became regarded as the sixteenth most popular president to date.
[For this shot, PoliSlix is wearing a plastic blue sombrero, and Hancho is on the floor next to him.]
One time, I even wrote a book report on Abraham Lincoln in middle school!
After his reluctant retirement from presidency, Abraham decided to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a salesman of suits and oversized stovepipe hats.
As you have probably seen in your daily routine, Abraham Lincoln has been featured on various forms of American currency throughout the years.
Not long after his retirement, Alexander Hamilton invented American currency. [Cut to a $1 bill with Abraham Lincoln crudely photoshopped on top.] Abraham Lincoln campaigned to be on the $1 bill but, sadly, he wasn’t popular enough with the American public to make his way onto the dollar bill. Or any of the other dollar bills. Or the quarter. Or the dime. Nickel. Half dollar. Gold dollar. Silver dollar. Or the counterfeit dollar.
[Photos of all these items of currency, with a Monopoly bill for the counterfeit dollar.]
So the United States government made him an honorary coin worth 1/100th of a dollar, put his face on it, and called it the penny. When they released it, it even came with a slogan: “Hey Abe, this is exactly how much we think you’re worth!”
It should go without saying, but Abe obviously didn’t take kindly to that gesture.
Although he considered his presidency a rousing success, after the announcement of his coin, it seemed that the American public obviously didn’t agree. Overcome with grief, he came to the conclusion that he couldn’t carry on any longer with the nation he loved resenting him so. As a result, he went to his dear friend John Wilkes Booth for assistance. Being a lifelong companion of his, Booth agreed without hesitation to assist in Abraham’s suicide.
Needless to say, the news of this event rocked the nation. Wrought with guilt, the American public felt obligated to honor Abraham Lincoln’s spirit in proper fashion, beyond simple suits and stovepipe hats.
Saddened by the loss of the sixteenth most popular president, the US government made Abraham Lincoln his very own bill of currency. [Cut to $5 bill with a grin edited on.] They released a special $5 bill in a limited run featuring Abraham Lincoln’s portrait. This also came with a slogan: “We didn’t mean it, Abe.”
[Chaze pulls out a $5 bill.] I even have one of those old $5 bills right here. I wish Abraham Lincoln would’ve stuck around long enough to make an even bigger mark on the world. Who knows? Maybe he’d even have a $6 bill.
We hope you found your time with us enlightening, and we hope you join us again next time on True Facts History.
Closed captioning for this program provided by: SiIva TV, Haltmann Works Co., Blender Productions Inc., and viewers like you. Thank you.
This episode was way better than my book report was. We miss you, Abe.
The references to a controversy over Lincoln being born in Canada and illegally immigrating to the US may be a reference to the "birther theory", an infamous conspiracy theory stating that former US President Barack Obama was born in Kenya and illegally immigrated from there.
This rip is the first channel upload to reference Deltarune.