[A ragtime cover of the "Kirby Dance" theme plays over a black title screen with the text "Kirby Fighters". As a narrator says the name of the short, the text turns yellow, while the number "1.5" (read as "One and a half") appears underneath. The text "press any key..." blinks below the title before the short begins.]
[The scene opens on an exterior shot of Kirby's house as it appears in Kirby Super Star while "Morning Mood" plays. Monochrome Kirby is sleeping before being woken up by an annoyed Kirby's megaphone.]
Kirby: Wake up!
["KIRBY, GET OUT!!!" plays.]
Monochrome Kirby: [angry] Holy shit, what the fuck, dude!?
Kirby: Sorry, but if you're gonna live with me, you can't just be sleeping in my house all day.
Monochrome Kirby: It's clearly 7:00 AM, is it not normal to sleep at this time?
Kirby: Not in my house.
Monochrome Kirby: [exasperated] What a great first day of living here.
Kirby: We're going to have breakfast, c'mon, get ready.
Monochrome Kirby: We need something that's not fast food for once. Know what I mean?
[Kirby produces a list.]
Kirby: Okay then. If you wanna make things complicated, here's a list. A grocery list. We're going grocery shopping. You're going to live with me, you've got to get your shit together and do chores with me. You got that?
[Monochrome Kirby reads the list, which includes the following items: APPLES, SODA, INVINCIBILITY CANDY, COCAINE, DILDO (IMPORTANT), and OTHER USELESS BULLSHIT.]
Monochrome Kirby: The hell is this list? "Dildo"? How do you expect me to find a dildo at a grocery store?
Kirby: What do you mean? We'll find one.
Monochrome Kirby: You know what? I've had enough. Let's just get this over with.
[Kirby and Monochrome Kirby drive away in a gray sedan as the scene fades to black.]
[The duo has arrived at the supermarket Waddlemart. The scene pans over sprites of several shoppers, including Wood Man, The Joke-Explainer™ 7000, Geno, NYN Aneki (Nazrin), and Momiji Inubashiri. "Sunset Ice Cream Break Time" plays.]
Kirby: Alright. You go one way, I'll go the other. I'll call you for us to meet up. Got it?
Monochrome Kirby: Sure, I guess. See you later.
[Monochrome Kirby walks off to the dairy section, thinking.]
Monochrome Kirby: [sigh] A dildo, huh? Wonder where a brother can find that...
[Monochrome Kirby encounters Mr. L, who is darting back and forth shiftily.]
Monochrome Kirby: Hey, you! Yeah, you. Where do I find a dildo here?
Mr. L: [nervous] Um... Oh! Yes, yes, yes. Of course. Uh, please! Just follow me...
Monochrome Kirby: Wow, they actually have those here? I have to come here more often!
[Monochrome Kirby follows Mr. L. The scene cuts to Kirby in the cereal aisle, having just completed his shopping.]
Kirby: Alright. All stocked up on soda, Invincibility Candy, and cocaine. Wow, they've really got everything here. Alright, it's time to call.
[Kirby dials his cell phone. The Undertale phone sound effect plays.]
Kirby: Hey, dude, where are you?
Mr. L: [over the phone] Who is this? Is this the FBI?
["???" plays.]
Kirby: Who the hell are you?
Mr. L: [over the phone] Your little friend was here trying to buy a dildo. A dildo! Do you realize how stupid he is?
Kirby: Yes, I do. But they totally have dildos here, you just gotta look for it.
Mr. L: [over the phone] What? No, they don't. Anyway, meet me in the back and give me all you've got, or else your friend dies. [He hangs up.]
Kirby: [annoyed] Great. Out of all things that could've gone wrong. [thinking] Always getting into trouble...
[Kirby leaves.]
[The scene fades in to Mr. L and a bound Monochrome Kirby in the Waddlemart parking lot as Kirby arrives. "Meta Knight's Theme" from Kirby Super Star plays.]
Mr. L: Ah, there you are. Now, where is the money?
Kirby: Right here, jackass.
[Kirby throws his shopping basket at Mr. L, hitting him.]
Mr. L: Ow! What the hell!? [sniff] Wait. You have... [sniff] ...cocaine? Holy shit! I'm gonna mug you for all it's worth!
Kirby: Come and get it, I dare you!
Mr. L: Don't you worry. I will get it.
[Mr. L produces a gun.]
Kirby: Oh, so you wanna play it that way, huh? So be it.
Mr. L: Ha! You don't even have a weapon! As if you even have a chance.
[Kirby and Mr. L stare each other down as the scene turns into Kirby Super Star's Samurai Kirby sub-game. As Mr. L pulls out his gun, Kirby disappears.]
Mr. L: W-wait, where did you-
[Kirby attacks from behind with a pixelated dildo. Mr. L makes a pained wheeze as the camera zooms in on his face. The scene abruptly cuts back to the Waddlemart parking lot as "KIRBY, GET OUT!!!" plays again.]
Kirby: Hey man, you okay?
Monochrome Kirby: So you actually found one?
Kirby: What'd I tell you?
Monochrome Kirby: Whatever. Next time, let's go for fast food. Know what I mean?
Kirby: You said it.
[The pair leaves the parking lot as the scene fades to black. The text "Replayyyy sexy lady?" appears.]
