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"No Place To Hide [Episode 2] - The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis" is a lore video and the second episode of the SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis event.

Plot summary

In the tower, President Haltmann and The Voice Inside Your Head discuss news of Smol Nozomi's escape and subsequent detection by a Figment-hunting Spheric ("Seasonal Return" ). The Voice swears his revenge of Nozomi for his previous defeat, prompting Haltmann to be a little concerned. Haltmann moves on, and announces his latest creation: The Stringbot. The Stringbot impresses The Voice with its power, and The Voice approves production of the bots immediately. Before Haltmann leaves, The Voice rewards the entrepreneur-inventor by reminding him of his promise fulfill Haltmann's wish about his daughter.

Meanwhile, the Rapper's Union, four hooded figures hell-bent on overthrowing the Voice's tyranny, meet in their headquarters in an alley deep in the city. The Union discusses its plan to retake the city and destroy the Voice's Spherics, then smoke weed before they begin their assault. Right outside their headquarters is Smol Nozomi, who is still being pursued by the Spheric! The Spheric corners her, but she short-circuits it in a puddle in the alley. Nozomi suddenly has the urge to jump inside the Spheric, which she does.

Suddenly, the Spheric lights up with green light and gains Nozomi's color scheme. Nozomi takes complete control of the mech, and notes how she can pilot it instinctively. She uses the mech to easily dispatch a swarm of wandering Patrol-Bots. Nozomi then spies the Rapper's Union back in the alleyway. The Union breaks into the nearest building and threatens everyone inside. One citizen loyal to the Voice summons a Spheric, which the Union's guns do moot against. The Spheric returns fire and manages to break Soulja Boy's wrist with one of its lasers. When all hope seems lost, Smol Nozomi bursts into the building and utterly destroys the enemy Spheric with her Smolitzer.

Nozomi greets the Union (whom she has worked with in the past), and then goes off to save her friends.

Track list

Time Song / track Source Usage / Note
0:05 - 0:40 "My name is Haltmann" Kirby Planet Robobot The Tower's theme.
0:42 - 1:24 "Rebooted Destruction"
1:31 - 2:58 "DND (Do Not Destroy) - No More Heroes" Triple-Q The Rapper's Union theme.
3:03 - 3:34 "Full Metal Vader" Kirby Planet Robobot
3:54 - 5:15 "Pink Ball Activate! Robobot Armor"
5:17 - 6:25 "It's A Mad World (Instrumental)" MadWorld When the Rapper's Union appears.
6:27 - 6:52 "Re: Green Greens" Kirby Planet Robobot
6:56 - 7:55 "Hold You Down (Instrumental)" DJ Khaled When Snoop and Nozomi have a conversation after the fight.


Click "Expand" to see the transcript.

Meanwhile, in the tower...

Haltmann: Voice! The Patrol-Bots and Spherics have detected a loose Figment.

The Voice: Bring up the screen...

The screen revealed a picture of a Spheric chasing a smol figure.

The Voice: Nozomi...! You were the bane of my existence just a few months ago. And I WILL have my revenge...

Haltmann: Are you alright?

The Voice: Hm? Yes, of course.

Haltmann: Hmm... anyway. I have been developing a new mass-production robot for crowd control. Would you care to see it?

The Voice walked up to Haltmann and observed the blueprint he was holding.

[Designed by Max "Profitt" Haltmann]

[Offensive mecha designed for riot and crowd control, using sound-based attacks.]


["Bitch you guessed it!"]

[Front loaded speakers. Can emit sound within a 50m radius, goes through any material.]

[Rockets fold into rockets skates. Doubles as a method of flight, 24 hour fuel.]

[LED eyes]

[Scissor hands, for cutting.]

[If the Beanbot has failed its directive, it can repurpose itself into a missile and perform a kamikaze attack.]

Haltmann: It's called the Harlequin Force Stringbot, or Stringbot for short. Its purpose is to suppress rioters with the power of sound. It can also fly up to 24 hours. The Stringbot is deigned with all-natural renewable materials, making it a low-cost venture!

The Voice: Interesting... a great way to bring back the power of the bean. You have done well, Haltmann.

Haltmann: Thank you, Voice!

The Voice: I hereby authorize production of the Stringbots. Get these schematics to Angry Joe immediately.

Haltmann: Affirmative.

Haltmann prepared to leave the office.

The Voice: ...Oh, and Haltmann? ...Do not think I have forgotten about your daughter. If you keep up the good work, I will grant you your wish.

Haltmann: ...

Down in the city, in a dark alleyway... a steel door stood tall, dimly lit by fluorescent lights. Beyond the door was a small, dingy room, filled with smoke and empty bottles of alcohol. A large banner with a hand symbol was hung across the wall. Four hooded figures were talking amongst themselves...

???: Ay yo, we be the Rapper's Union.

???: The Voice be a gay n*gga.

???: This society we'll mend.

???: We're ballers to the end.

???: SLAM!

???: May our flows be ill and our chains golden.

??? (All): Amen, brotha.

???: JAM!

???: Heh... you said it, Barkley. Aight, Snoop Dogg comin atcha with this real ass shit. We need to expend our hood. We can't stuck in this dank-ass basement all fuckin' day.

???: But Snoop, there be mothafuckin' robots in the other building!

Snoop Dogg: No problem, Chip. In my scoutin' trips, I found ourselves some gats and .48s. We can take on thos metallic-ass n*ggas any day, shiit.

???: I got one problem, mah n*gga.

Snoop Dogg: Sup withchu?

???: I just broke my wrist, ay.

Snoop Dogg: Well that's yo own goddamn fault for bashin' on them steel drums all the fuckin time, "Soulja Boy". Ain't even livin up to yo name!

Soulja Boy: Ay, that's just how I cope.

Chip: That's just how he copes, man.

Snoop Dogg: Well cope this n*gga. In 2 hours we be takin over the next buildin'. Bring yo popguns and yo pride. Fo shizzle. Soulja, use yo fuckin' mouth to shoot if yo have to. ...First the next buildin', then the block, then the whole city'll be our mothafuckin' oyster. Voice be damned. Barkley, what do you think?

Barkley: SLAM!

Snoop Dogg: Now that's what I wanna mothafuckin hear! I'mma toke up before we take that shot over.

Snoop, Soulja Boy, Chip and Barkley all started to smoke weed before their huge assault.

Meawhile, just outside... Nozomi was still being chased by the Spheric! Nozomi had no means to defend herself... she was too smol, so all she could do was run! Nozomi ran into an alleyway, and... she was cornered!! The Spheric closed in on Nozomi, while she tried to look for a way out... Suddenly, Nozomi noticed a large exposed wre next to a puddle. Of course⋯! Nozomi jumped towards the wire, with the Spheric in pursuit. Just as the Spheric was about to make its way across the puddle, Nozomi grabbed the wire and threw it in!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! The electricity short-circuited the Spheric. it Shook violently, and then slumped to the ground as its eye turned off. The hatch atop its head opened... Nozomi had this strange feeling... for some reason she felt like she had to jump inside the Spheric. But what would happen? Putting aside her hesitation, Nozomi removed the wire from the puddle and hoped right inside.

Suddenly, a bright green light burst from the Spheric! The robot's color palette changed to purple, blue, and green, which matched Nozomi' hairstyle. The eye fell off the robot, and in its place, two LED eyes flickered on. Nozomi looked at the control panel of the robot:


What was this power Nozomi felt? She had only just gotten into the robot, but it was like she had piloted it for years! Nozomi could move the robot's arms and legs just like her own!


Some flying robots spotted Nozomi in the alleyway! Perhaps now was a good time to test what the Smolitzer could do. Nozomi turned to face the robots, and threw a punch! BOOM! One of the flying robots was destroyed. BLAM! With a second swift punch, another flying robot was smashed to pieces. With a flurry of punches, the Smolitzer pulverized the swarm.

But one robot was trying to get away, and it was to far away for Nozomi to reach! Surely, there was a way to blow up the last one... Nozomi ran toward the robot, and tried to throw a punch... but the fist on the Smolitzer's hand started to blast off into the sky! Another fist popped out of her hand, not even a moment later. It was a ranged weapon! Nozomi aimed her fist at the escaping robot, and fired!

KA-POW!! A direct hit onto the flying robot sent it flying towards the ground. Such power... the Smolitzer could help Nozomi defend herself and find her friends! Suddenly, Nozomi spotted a few people back in the alleyway...

Snoop Dogg: Ay, let's storm this shit. You ready?

Chip: I'll be their worst nightmare.

Soulja Boy: Let's crank those robots to pieces!

Barkley: SLAM!

Snoop Dogg: On my lead...! Let's run up on them nigs!

Snoop signalled with his hand, and the Rapper's Union proceeded to kick in the door of the other building. The Union moved in and brandished their guns at all the people in the hall.


Everyone ran outside, screaming. One person stood his ground...


Citizen: I remain loyal to the Voice. You will not take over my watch!

He pressed a button, and in the middle of the hall, a hatch opened and ejected a Spheric!

Chip: Open fire!!

The Union focused all of their fire power on the Spheric, but the bullets inflicted minimal damages to its hull at best. The Spheric changed one of its arms into a gun ad fired off a volley of lasers! The rappers quickly took cover, but one of them was hit!

Soulja Boy: Daghh, my wrist!

Chip: Ay Soulja, you alright?

Soulja Boy: I'll be fine. I'm sure I can get a new wrist somewhere around here.

Snoop Dogg: Quit yappin' and fuckin' shoot that bitch!

Barkley: SLAM! JAM!

Barkley tried to throw a basketball at the Spheric, but it bounced off harmlessly.

Snoop Dogg: You tried, Barkley, and that's all that matters.

Suddenly, a fist came out of nowhere and clocked the Spheric. It was Nozomi in the Smolitzer!

Chip: ...the fuck?!

The Smolitzer ran up to the Spheric and started to bash it to pieces! It was too strong for the Spheric to handle, and soon it was nothing more than a pile of scrap. The citizen looked on at the Smolitzer, dumbfounded.

Citizen: Well, so much for that. AHHHHHHHHHHH!

He quickly ran out of the hall into the streets. The Rapper's Union cautiously approached the Smolitzer, ready to shoot.

Snoop Dogg: Guns down, n*ggas! Guns down. We couldn't do shit to taht thing if it was mad at us anyway.

Snoop noticed Nozomi in the cockpit.

Snoop Dogg: Sup Nozomi?

Nozomi smiled and waved at Snoop. Of course she knew the Rapper's Union: they were colleagues she had worked with in the past.

Snoop Dogg: Yo, thanks fo' savin' our asses out there. Now we got more turf.

Chip: Ballin' to see you again Nozomi!

Soulja Boy: I'd wave too, but my wrist hurts.

Barkley: JAM!

Snoop Dogg: Yo, you wanna join the Rapper's Union? We the best, Khaled's seal of approval. And we're gonna run the city.

Nozomi shook her head. She had a job to do...

Snoop Dogg: Your loss, n*gga. But thanks for the muscle and hustle.

Nozomi gave one last wave as she piloted the Smolitzer back onto the streets.

Snoop Dogg: Aight n*ggas, let's pimp our new base out.

Chip: Can I bring the interior cr-

Snoop Dogg: No.




  • This is the first appearance of the President Haltmann, Rapper's Union, and the Smolitzer in the series.
    • The alleyway behind the Rapper's Union HQ has a yellow neon sign with the "To be continued" sign from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure on it.
    • The symbol of the Union is the "OK" sign, which is also an in-joke in the SiIvaGunner community (the Circle Game)
      • Snoop Dogg makes this sign three times (twice using the same pose), and the symbol is on the Rapper's Union's uniforms
  • The "loyal citizen"'s sign reads: "NUTSHACK BUT WITH OVERLORD VOICE ENDING ANIME"
  • The line "We the best, Khaled's seal of approval," is a reference to the rapper DJ Khaled's catchphrase "We the best music".

Prologue: "Prologue" • Episode 1: "Seasonal Return" • Episode 2: "No Place To Hide" • Episode 3: "Old Times" • Episode 4: "Will of a Knight" • Episode 5: "Haltmann" • Episode 6: "Advent of Hell" • Episode 7: "Loves the Ladies" • Episode 8: "An Acrimonious Assault" • Episode 9: "Timbre of a Kazoo" • Episode 10: "I Love Her"
Bonus Episodes
"Episode VIII.5 ~A Fragmentary Interlude~" • "[AUDIOLOG: 19:27, HEAD_OFFICE]" • "Bad Moon Rising" • "Wood Man & Robbie Rotten" • "The Lost Rip" • "The Life and Times of Wade L.D." • "Unusual Circumstances" • "I Wanna Thank Me"
Haltmann's Archives
FILE-01: "The Creation of GiIvaSunner" • FILE-02: "Termination" • FILE-03: "The Loudest Store" • FILE-04: "Anomalies, Portals and Fabrications" • FILE-05: "The Werewolf" • FILE-06: "The Supreme Visitor" • FILE-07: "Christmas Spirit" • FILE-08: "Sample" • FILE-09: "Project AIRTH" • FILE-10: "Robotic Usurper" • FILE-11: "The Joke-Explainer™ 7000" • FILE-12: "Albums" • FILE-13: "Mechanizing Occupation Project" • FILE-14: "Retrospective" • FILE-15: "Channel Hosts and Takeovers"
Fake / Troll Episodes
"Last Hurrah [FINALE]" • "Large Gains [Episode 7]" (blooper video) • "The End... - SiIvaGunner: The Video Game" • "Treacherous Addiction [Episode 9]" • "The Final Rip..." ("...of 2017")