[The following play, in quick succession: the 2006 Sony Wonder ident, the Hanna-Barbera Cartoons ident, the Mona the Vampire variant of the Cinar ident.
Cut to a title card:Season 8
Take Seven
(Early Draft)
Cut to SiIvaGunner in the Greeny Phatom style.]
SiIvaGunner: Hello everyone! I'm SiIvaGunner, and I only upload high-quality rips! Because today, I'm gonna take seven high-quality ri--
[Little Guy from Greeny Phatom appears.]
Little Guy: What do you think you're doing? This cannot be properly defined for real! This is my show, you stupid cereal! Now get out, before I can taking it anymore!
[Cut to black, sounds of SiIvaGunner being beaten up. Cut back to Little Guy.]
Anyways, hello, my excellent fans! I'm Little Guy, the king of 123 Greeny Phatom! Because today, I will take seven video clips while some stupid Russian called SiIvaGunner will never destroy my plans with Flintstones ever again! It is also Christmas Eve when Dr. Beanson never gets his idiotic soldier costumes for Christmas present, and next season will premiere after New Year 2003.
[Wood Man appears.]
Wood Man: Actually, it's gonna be 2019.
Little Guy: Shut up, you stupid Mega Man characters, or I will put you on the Columbia Federal Prison! I can't even do it properly, because of the evil father's satisfaction, but the user Daniel Ippolito requested this episode for any longer.
[Title card: 50 AND 19 MINUTES LATER
Cut to SiIvaGunner eating Little Guy Forevers, a cereal in the Greeny Phatom universe.]
SiIvaGunner: Little Guy Forevers! Oh boy! Little Guy Forevers! Oh boy! Little Guy Forevers! Oh boy! Little Guy Forevers! Oh boy! I like to taste it! Little Guy Forevers! Oh boy! Little Guy Forevers! Oh bo--
Little Guy: Shut up stupid composer! I have had enough of your Flintstoning! Now you have fallen into this bait, because I will put you in the Sesame Street Home Video jail cell for the whole Christmas Eve, while you will learn a lesson for playing tricks on me!
SiIvaGunner: Oh shit.
[Cut to SiIvaGunner inside the Sesame Street Home Video ident.]
Little Guy: While I got rid of that statue punk, I will take seven video clips. The first clip was "[Vinesauce] - Vinny - Reaction to "8 GRAND DAD"".
[Cut to said video.]
The second clip was "Greeny Phatom Season 13 Bonus Episode - Little Guy Uses Windows XP".
[Cut to clips from said video.]
Little Guy: The third clip was "Jigsaw Puzzles IP YouTube Spam Video".
[Cut to said video, an automated spam slideshow of various images set to an easy listening instrumental.]
Little Guy: The fourth clip was-- wait a second. What is this!?
[Cut to an animation of Little Guy doing the Fortnite default dance, accompanied by a Mario Paint Composer arrangement of the default dance theme, with the "G-Major" effect.]
Little Guy: How dare they do something so stupid like this! You can't ruin myself with these Fortnite dance parties! They are stupid as Bob Beanson cancelling PBS Kids shows! How dare they!
[Dr. Beanson appears.]
Dr. Beanson: Hahahahahahaha! It was me all along! Now I'm one-of-a-kind soldier that brings Fortnite this message!
Little Guy: [furious] Now is not the time for stupid tricks, Dr. Beanson! Now take these stupid video clips and stay out of my face, you little runt!
Dr. Beanson: [dejected] Oh. Because Little Guy always playing a trick on me, but why can't it do that? I understand it's because it's better than Dexter's Laboratory, and he's the king, and I'm just a soldier. But it's an injustice! It is!
Little Guy: That takes care of that! Now back to the low-quality rips!
[Suddenly, to the strains of "We No Speak Americano" by Yolanda Be Cool ft. DCUP, Little Guy looks up to find that SiIvaGunner has escaped his prison.]
SiIvaGunner: How 'bout that, Little Guy? I'm out of jail free! Ahohohohohaha!
Little Guy: Oh that [inscrutable bleep sound] YouTuber SiIvaGunner! He makes me so [inscrutable bleep sound] mad! If he fools me again, I will destroy all of his Flintstones VHSes, make him slip and slide on a banana peel, and turn him into a 3D Movie Maker rat, while my head got been ripped out of the skin like a Russian Sega game!
[Title card: Meanwhile...
Cut to an outdoor location, with hills and snow. We see a box with "Locker of Luckers" written on it. Inside, we see Barney Christ. He initially has Xs over his eyes, but they disappear.]
Barney Christ: I'm alive!
[The Voice Inside Your Head is next to Barney.]
The Voice: Muhahahaha! Now that I helped you revive, you could help me get out of here, and we can destroy Little Guy.
Barney Christ: I could help you with many things, but today is Christmas Eve. I cannot do it properly, and Little Guy calls me a scum package. How dare him.
The Voice: You're right. It's Christmas Eve. Considering your name, I assumed you could at least get me some Christmas Spirit.
Barney Christ: We will need to get the holy rings from the Bible.
The Voice: Whatever you say.
[The Locker of Luckers opens up, and a Dr. PBS leaps out.]
Dr. PBS: Whoopee! I'm finally free! I can't wait to tell everyone!
Dr. Beanson: Now that I have these video clips, while saving SiIvaGunner from the Sesame Street Home Video jail cell, we can go take the rest of the video clips at Beach Park.
[Enter Santed Sailor.]
Santed Sailor: I'm Santed Sailor. Welcome to Beach Park! If that's what you want, we'll see the fishes, and have a shippy shippy shippy shippy-- wait a second! Is that SiIvaGunner?! Where's my assistant Grand Dad?
Dr. Beanson: Be quiet, you stupid sailor! We don't ever wanted to cause trouble. Grand Dad went to have his Christmas days off. We are here only to take seven video clips. The fifth clip was "Grand Dad O's Commercial".
[We cut to a commercial for Grand Dad O's cereal.]
Grand Dad: From the people who think kids will buy anything for the movie time incomes[sic] Grand Dad O's, the cereal with Grand Dad on it! Just open a box and fill a bowl of everything when it could find laying around, including: Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Pebbles, milk, Flintstone vitamins, and Hanna-Barbera logo marshmallows! Forget hoping for a prize; we'll be hoping for high-quality rips! With Grand Dad O's, all of flavor, none of the rips! Sold long stars Little Guy Forevers, Mr. RentO's, AMUNO'S, Smol Flavor, Rice Shreks, CARshmellows, and Cloudy With a Chance of Flavor.
[Back to Beanson.]
Dr. Beanson: The sixth clip was "Hotel Mario Funny Intro Lol" from The Cool Videos. I liked it when it was the funniest video clip that I ever seen!
[Cut to said video.]
Finally, the seventh clip was "The Nutshack intro, Bailando en Tejas Edition", but because of the stupid MyxTV company logos they do not like, these clips was been censored for the next time.
[Cut to a video of an unsynced mashup of The Nutshack with a song from the radio show "Bailando en Tejas", a show heard throughout Robert Stainton's videos. The visuals are blurred, upside-down, hue-shifted, and plastered with a caption that says "CENSORED SORRY FOLKS!" in order to avoid a copyright claim from MyxTV.]
[Title card: The next Day...]
Little Guy: It's good to be the king, and getting all of the best presents!
[With a start, Little Guy notices Barney Christ and The Voice in front of him.]
The Voice: Hey, Little Gay! Remember us? Muhahahahaha!
Little Guy: Holy kind of God! Not the scary triangular shape and the cloudy Antichrist himself!
Barney Christ: Hey, Little Guy! Have you liked the clouds from Heaven again?
Little Guy: I have had enough for all of you! You're annoying as Doctor! And he never appearing again to show up in the episodes with Russian music for the last second. He will be destroyed. As for you... [pulls out the Coca Cola gun from the "Coke Colar" Greeny Phatom episodes] You will be terminated! Say your last funny words!
The Voice: You idiotic basketball! How dare you defy the great Voice Inside Your Head--
[Little Guy fires his gun immediately, causing a great explosion that throws The Voice and Barney Christ outside as the Bananas in Pyjamas theme plays. SiIvaGunner and Dr. Beanson notice the explosion from far away.]
SiIvaGunner: Holy kind of God, what is happening in there?
Dr. Beanson: Don't worry. It's just the Christmas lights.
SiIvaGunner: I have to make a high-quality rip outta that.
Little Guy: Those idiots got their face turned to a melted crisp. So that will be it for this episode! Be back! Until next time, happy holidays and happy times!
[SiIvaGunner is resting in his bed.]
SiIvaGunner: Gee, I liked it when my clones wanted to sleep with me. So goodnight. [falls asleep] Zs!
[To an instrumental cover of Snow halation, we see a Greeny Phatom credits sequence, but with some extra credits added:]Walter. Speakonia Sydney
Gum. Speakonia Eddie
SiivaGunner. VoiceForge Wiseguy
Santed Sailor. Jake Sharratt
Gree Guy. AT&T Rich
Geo Guy Microsoft Mike
The Voice. Acapella Graham
Barney Christ. Acapella Charles
Grand Dad. VoiceForge Jerkface
"SIIVAGUNNER" and all related titles, logos and character are trademarks of Grand Films, Inc.
A Hanna-Barbera Cartoon
All of this is parody, but Robert Stainton is a cool guy. I cannot do his series justice as I lack his writing "skills"... Go watch Greeny Phatom for one of the "greatest" experiences in your life.
youtube.com/2009Greenyphatom
∞
[The "Grand Films" ident from "Options - Mr Rental: The Video Game" then plays, followed by the 1995 Sony Wonder ident. However, we then hear a loud noise, and the ident shrinks as we hear:]
Little Guy: No. Stop it. No one likes this closing logo anymore. You hear me?
[The ident flips and shrinks to black.]