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"The Disappearance of Wood Man - A SiIvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story" (previously titled "??? [FILE-17] - Haltmann's Archives"[1]) is a high quality lore video and a side story for The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis.

Summary[]

The video is initially formatted like all Haltmann's Archives videos starting with "Termination [FILE-02]". An excerpt from the thoughts of an unknown individual is presented, in which they reminisce about overseeing SiIvaGunner, which has been running for seven years, by observing the dreams of SiIvaGunner himself, initially to fulfill their master's bidding.

At 0:38, however, the video abruptly exits the Haltmann's Archives format and the individual is revealed to be Wood Man, speaking in the format of The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis episodes. He monologues about the torment of being stuck in a time loop for seven years and his need to find a "magic solution" to end it, saying that he has had fun spending time in other universes, but feels guilt over putting off his vow to save his friends from the purgatory of the main universe, especially Robbie Rotten. He states that he fears what his friends may think of him after so long, and wishes to step away from SiIvaGunner to "have a good, long think" about how to find this "magic solution". The video ends with two title cards, the first reading "The Disappearance of Wood Man" and the second declaring the end of Season 6.

Transcript[]

To open the transcript, click "Expand".
[Haltmann's Archives]
FILE-17
[???]

Excerpt from the thoughts of ???.


[SiIvaGunner].

It's been running for 7 years now.

Or is it 8?


For a majority of the time, I've been overseeing it. Keeping a close eye. Through his slumber, his dreams.

Initially... this was in order to fulfill my master's bidding. I was nothing but a pawn, a means to an end, to keep someone alive...


...

[The video abruptly cuts to black without music.]

???: no.

no, i can't keep talking in this file-ass format.
it doesn't quite capture the sheer magnitude of this situation.
this... hell I'm going through.

["altr" from The Life and Times of Wade L.D. starts playing as Wood Man is shown from behind. Several faint images from "Wood Man & Robbie Rotten - A SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story" appear as he speaks.]

Wood Man: do you know what seven years stuck in a loop does to you?
it screws with your mind, your programming... it turns men into monsters.

well, okay, maybe thats a lie.
that bill murray guy made it out of his hell okay and he was stuck for god knows how long until he found a solution.

[A faint excerpt from "Prologue - The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis" is shown.]

Wood Man: maybe thats what i need to do.
i need to find an out, a magic solution.
a way i can fix it all.

ive been doing that for seven years, and i still don't know if im any closer.

[Faint excerpts from "The SiIvaGunner All-Star Summer Festival 2021: Legends of the Western Sunset" and "Natsuiro Egao de 1, 2, Jump Fusion Collab!" are shown.]

Wood Man: but i can't say i havent had fun screwing with the channel in siiva's absence.
not to mention, im always free to just... hop out and chill in other universes.

its always fun to see other worlds and other versions of characters, right?

maybe purgatory ain't so bad.

and hey, the people love me. they're always telling me I'm a nice guy.

>:]

right?

[The visuals fade to black and the music stops. "re-qm" from The Life and Times of Wade L.D. then starts playing as a faint excerpt from "My Last Message" is shown.]

Wood Man: ...

but... not every universe I can go back to.
i can't keep dimension hopping forever.

[Faint images of Wood Man and Robbie Rotten from "Wood Man & Robbie Rotten - A SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis Side Story" are shown over Wood Man's open hands.]

Wood Man: not to mention... i made a vow to those guys in that timeless purgatory...
...to robbie...

...that I'd be there for them.

and what have i done?

[Wood Man is shown looking at his hands with a fearful expression, which is then zoomed in.]

Wood Man: i kept putting it off. i kept doing other things, cause they were easier.
this is supposed to be really important, but... but why can't i face them?

[Wood Man is shown with a blank expression, then turns to sadness as the SiIvaGunner seventh anniversary art collab is shown faintly, zooming out.]

Wood Man: i think i know why.

it's because it's been seven years.

im afraid of what they will think of me, when it's been this long.
people change over time... they'll probably be mad at me.

and what they want now... may not necessarily align with what I want.

[Wood Man's hands are shown again as faint concept artwork of him for Mega Man 2 is shown. The back view then returns.]

Wood Man: ...god that sounds selfish... but...
...im a villain.
i'll always think like that, because im programmed that way.

maybe that's the only option i can take right now.

i need to get away. to just, step away from it all... from siiva as a whole.
To get my hands off, to reevaluate my approach...

to just have a good, long think.

god, i really am just putting it off more, aren't i? I'm hopeless.

[The art collab is shown again, scrolling right, and one of Wood Man's hands is shown open. The hand is closed into a fist as the art fades out and Wood Man is shown with a slightly sorrowful expression.]

Wood Man: but i keep coming back anyway. Because i care about them.
I know I've made a lot of flimsy promises... but, i'll try to make this one for real.
Maybe if i leave, then i can come back with a fresh mind.

and then maybe i can find that so-called magic solution.

or not... the future is uncertain, after all.

[The music ends and the standard lighthouse banner is shown faintly as Wood Man walks away, fading to black.]

Wood Man: you might hear my theme every now and then,
but you won't see me in person for a while.

maybe you'll forget...
but I hope you don't.

brb

[The music stops. A title card appears reading "The Disappearance of Wood Man", followed by another reading "END OF SEASON 6". The video ends with the usual Haltmann's Archives closing file sound.]

History[]

During the initial release the video description was originally in the regular format for Haltmann's Archives descriptions:

This video was initially included in the Haltmann's Archives playlist.[2]

Trivia[]

References[]

  1. Tweet by @InstRipInfoSys; February 1, 2023.
  2. Archive of the Haltmann's Archives playlist via archive.today; February 1, 2023.
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