"The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 [FILE-11] - Haltmann's Archives" is a lore video and the eleventh "file" in Haltmann's Archives. It documents The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 (codename JK-EX-7000), which first appeared as a commenter on the channel's most obscure rips, and then in the CCC episode "Loves the Ladies".
It appears to have been unlisted briefly from April 30 to May 1, 2018.
Summary[edit | edit source]
The video is formatted like all Haltmann's Archives videos starting with "FILE-02". It opens with this message:
[THE JOKE-EXPLAINER™ 7000]
The FILE begins with the specifications of the Joke-Explainer™ 7000, indicating its smol-ness, material, and manufacture date. The notes section explains the Joke-Explainer™ 7000's origin as a creation of Chad Warden (for the good of the channel's viewers). The notes also mention the hypocrisy of The Voice Inside Your Head belittling Chad for believing in a "useless cause", then Rebooting the channel for the sake of making the viewers happy.
Further notes indicate that the smol machine is similar to Wood Man in their common knowledge of the real world, and the ">:]" symbol on the Joke-Explainer™ 7000's antenna. The explainer can appear anywhere at random and immediately explains the joke of any SiIvaGunner rip it hears to those nearby. Some tests reveal the jokes of Monster's Mansion BGM - Pac-Land, Stalker - Duke Nukem 3D, and Monochrome (JP Version) - Hotel Dusk: Room 215 (though it fails the latter due to an employee knocking it over).
The FILE ends by revealing the author of the notes, Dr. Andonuts from EarthBound and Mother 3, and his intention to keep it secret from President Haltmann to study it further.
During the video, the Joke-Explainer™ 7000's theme, "Magolor Shop" from Team Kirby Clash Deluxe, plays.
Transcript[edit | edit source]
[THE JOKE-EXPLAINER™ 7000][The Joke-Explainer™ 7000]
W: 50 cm
L: 80 cm
H: 90 cm
40% steel, 20% copper, 40% titanium
[Manufacture Date] 1st June, 2016
The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 was built with one purpose - to explain the joke on rips that were otherwise too obscure for the average SilvaGunner viewer.
The enclosed instruction book notes that it was built by none other than[Chad Warden]
. He built it because he saw a growing trend of "commenters not getting the joke". No doubt that this is a result of Chad Warden taking the audience to heart.[The Voice]
has said that Chad was always trying to fight a useless cause, "pearls from swine".
And yet he took it upon himself to reboot SilvaGunner for the sake of appeasing them. Typical... glad he's outta here.
We've run some tests on this thing, and its energy signature shares some similarities with that of[Wood Man]
. It's even got the >:] face on its little antenna! Of course... Wood Man has knowledge of[a world beyond ours]
too, doesn't he? But he came into existence after the Joke-Explainer™ was built, so... it's just a really convenient coincidence, I guess.
The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 has an unknown source of power and never seems to turn off. It can fly with its double jetpacks and is know to appear anywhere at random.
It has no real sense of urgency, but if it hears a SilvaGunner rip, it will fly to the person closest to it and explain what's happening in it.
Here's an example of an explanation it gave after we played[Monster's Mansion BGM - Pac-Land]
"The Joke™ :
At 0:17, the song turns into an excerpt of Franz Schubert's 'Symphony No. 9, First Movement'."
We played[Stalker - Duke Nukem 3D]
, and robot responded:
"The Joke™ :
The song is rearranged to resemble 'The Imp's Song' from Doom.At 0:52, a square synth begins to play 'Fly Away' from TeddyLoid, from Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt."
The last test was for[Monochrome (JP Version) - Hotel Dusk: Room 215]
"The Joke™ :
bzzztzzzsdadsdd bossa nova miku pizza. zzzzzst. yey."
(One of our researchers was playing beer pong, and the ping pong ball knocked the Joke-Explainer™ over, causing it to malfunction momentarily.
He was fired after this test.)
Surely this will fetch a high price, but I'd like to keep it from Haltmann a little while longer and study it more...
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 itself commented on this rip, saying:
This video explains me, The Joke-Explainer™ 7000's origin!"
- However, the video is mostly explaining what The Joke-Explainer™ 7000 does, rather than its origin.
- There is a minor typo at the text block that appears at 0:47: "It can fly [...] and is know to appear anywhere at random" should be "It can fly [...] and is known to appear anywhere at random".